Review Detail of Monsieur_Dreamer in Jujutsu Kaisen: Dimensional
Review detail
Meh, there's full of flaws here and some specific things that I didn't like.Let me start by saying that you got the timeline wrong. Also, the interactions between Toji and Atlas were horrible due to the fact that Toji would not bother to waste his time with the MC, simply because it doesn't benefit him. And we got a main character trying too hard to be cool, smoking in a 16 years old body, piercings and cringey quips during a fight.
Jujutsu Kaisen: Dimensional
EpicBean
Liked by 36 people
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I'm geniunely confused on what you're trying to convey here because I have never wrote a "fanboying MC" or something lol
Aztec_Azazel:Dont you feel cringed when writing a fanboying MC or the MC doing all these stuff smoking and piercing at 16 ? its just a question no offense đ
Thanks for the review and feedback! I do agree that the timeline isn't perfect. I am following one I found online but to be honest my main goal here is to right a fun fanfic, not perfectly portray the source material. As for Toji, this was before all the events that would have really changed him in canon. He hadn't even met his second wife yet or left the Zenin clan. But I do see what you are saying and perhaps it could have been done a bit better. I do find that something I need to work on is portraying characters closer to there source material. As for what he is doing 'trying to be cool,' he still has the memories of his past life. He is just doing what he knows really to feel more comfortable in a new body and a new world at the same time trying to find who he is again. Thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback!
EpicBean:Thanks for the review and feedback! I do agree that the timeline isn't perfect. I am following one I found online but to be honest my main goal here is to right a fun fanfic, not perfectly portray the source material. As for Toji, this was before all the events that would have really changed him in canon. He hadn't even met his second wife yet or left the Zenin clan. But I do see what you are saying and perhaps it could have been done a bit better. I do find that something I need to work on is portraying characters closer to there source material. As for what he is doing 'trying to be cool,' he still has the memories of his past life. He is just doing what he knows really to feel more comfortable in a new body and a new world at the same time trying to find who he is again. Thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback!
They are don't worry. All relations in my FF are going to be straight unless canon character is directly stated otherwise and it is already canonical. Also as of current MC may not have relationship but romance between other couples will be written.
Tyler_Henline_7485:please tell me the love interest is a women
EpicBean:They are don't worry. All relations in my FF are going to be straight unless canon character is directly stated otherwise and it is already canonical. Also as of current MC may not have relationship but romance between other couples will be written.
Not saying this in a rude way but i dont think anyone cares for other people getting into pairings. How come theyre getting one and MC's own is being delayed?
EpicBean:They are don't worry. All relations in my FF are going to be straight unless canon character is directly stated otherwise and it is already canonical. Also as of current MC may not have relationship but romance between other couples will be written.
Everywhere in the world there are bums who do things they shouldn't, and think it's totally normal and cool. Maybe the author is one of those, if he is then logically he thinks it's normal to make a bum on drugs. (I haven't read the story and won't, thanks to these reviews, thank you).
Aztec_Azazel:Dont you feel cringed when writing a fanboying MC or the MC doing all these stuff smoking and piercing at 16 ? its just a question no offense đ