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Garland
GarlandLv41yr
2023-07-04 20:49

The story is overall above average to me. The writing and plot has quality, which I tend to see is more character driven than story driven. Ren is an interesting character which is kinda a much darker reflection of what Ais could have been if not for the Loki Familia. You managed to get the personality of the other characters and on how they would react to the situation. And yet what really pretty much didn't made me enjoy the story is Ren's character. His obsession kinda hurt the story more to me than benefit it. While having a goal is interesting, his obsession was just creepy as you have described him which killed it for me. He wasn't fun to read and I enjoy a lot of dark character but even then they had something intriguing which made them enjoyable to read. I'm not saying that he is a bad character, just not the type of character than i enjoy reading especially as the main character.

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DeeplyLostInShadow
DeeplyLostInShadowAuthor

If I managed to creep you out, then that means my goal has been accomplished. This is a story that should make one reflect in just how deep can a person's mind be corrupted and twisted. From what I can discen, you're actually enjoying the story, so I think it's a pity for you to drop it now, because I plan to slowly change Ren's character until his obsession will change as is already. From the creepiest kind of obsession, he's slowly learning to Love her instead of Obsessing over her

DeeplyLostInShadow
DeeplyLostInShadowAuthor

In the end, the decision is yours and I will gladly say goodbye to you as you maybe will find a story that won't make you feel bad from reading it. But, what I say instead is to try and trust me. If you do, I won't promise you'll enjoy everything because I'm human and can make mistakes, but I will promise you will at least have something decent to read once in a while. Thank you for the review and the critique. I am glad to have someone that deeply reads between the lines in my novel and has their own opinion to say. See you!

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