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RookofBlack
RookofBlackLv42yr
2023-05-06 07:56

The plot in of itself is pretty fun, what with the amount of worlds crossed over together, and the author seems to write the characters pretty well. However, the author keeps flashing forward and backwards and having us reread the same exact scene from the perspectives of like five different characters. And honestly it's annoying, confusing, and frustrating. This story has amazing potential, if only it wasn't written by an ADHD gremlin that's high on crack. Just pick a plot line and stick to it, I beg of thee.

Liked by 19 people

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Replies12
MrIIIo
MrIIIoLv5

true, a lot of plotlines are mixed in one and the story is just overall messy. The author should probably make a rewrite and plan things out

RuberDF
RuberDFLv5

Thanks for the worning mate, sounds a lot like chapter padding to me.

Door_kun
Door_kunAuthor

Well sorry since I have ADHD (Like literally)

RookofBlack
RookofBlackLv4

So do I, but this was easily fixable by revising chapters before uploading.

Door_kun:Well sorry since I have ADHD (Like literally)
Door_kun
Door_kunAuthor

Well why don't you write one, maybe I can get an "Example".

RookofBlack:So do I, but this was easily fixable by revising chapters before uploading.
RookofBlack
RookofBlackLv4

I find that writing a list of the things I want to include in my work helps keep my mind on track, of course I still get sidetracked on occasion, but it's significantly less often. But also give your work a read through before uploading to catch last minute mistakes, and you'll also find getting extra inspiration in that way. I'm currently in university, and my professors this year are very heavy on essays, so I end up with multiple essays with varying deadlines. I hope this advice helps you as much as it helped me, dude.

Door_kun:Well why don't you write one, maybe I can get an "Example".
Door_kun
Door_kunAuthor

You know that second paragraph would be very tough for me to follow. Even if I did, the only thing I'd check is the grammar. ADHD made me too overconfident.

RookofBlack:I find that writing a list of the things I want to include in my work helps keep my mind on track, of course I still get sidetracked on occasion, but it's significantly less often. But also give your work a read through before uploading to catch last minute mistakes, and you'll also find getting extra inspiration in that way. I'm currently in university, and my professors this year are very heavy on essays, so I end up with multiple essays with varying deadlines. I hope this advice helps you as much as it helped me, dude.
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Door_kun
Door_kunAuthor

But if you're that busy, can you tell me someone else's work that gain your approval with their pacing and POVs. I don't exactly read other fanfics. I only read the originals in order to understand the lore. Just throw me anything, if you will.

RookofBlack:I find that writing a list of the things I want to include in my work helps keep my mind on track, of course I still get sidetracked on occasion, but it's significantly less often. But also give your work a read through before uploading to catch last minute mistakes, and you'll also find getting extra inspiration in that way. I'm currently in university, and my professors this year are very heavy on essays, so I end up with multiple essays with varying deadlines. I hope this advice helps you as much as it helped me, dude.
image
RookofBlack
RookofBlackLv4

Sure, try anything by thedarkwolfShiro, he does a fantastic job with plot and composition, but he has a problem with consistent uploads.

Door_kun:But if you're that busy, can you tell me someone else's work that gain your approval with their pacing and POVs. I don't exactly read other fanfics. I only read the originals in order to understand the lore. Just throw me anything, if you will.
Door_kun
Door_kunAuthor

Roger that

RookofBlack:Sure, try anything by thedarkwolfShiro, he does a fantastic job with plot and composition, but he has a problem with consistent uploads.
TrashHeap
TrashHeapLv11

me too

Door_kun:Well sorry since I have ADHD (Like literally)
Bob_Uchiha_XD
Bob_Uchiha_XDLv4

Door_kun:Well why don't you write one, maybe I can get an "Example".
Other Reviews
Door_kun
Door_kunAuthor

Ingredients 100g pancetta 50g pecorino cheese 50g parmesan 3 large eggs 350g spaghetti 2 plump garlic cloves, peeled and left whole 50g unsalted butter sea salt and freshly ground black pepper STEP 1 Put a large saucepan of water on to boil. STEP 2 Finely chop the 100g pancetta, having first removed any rind. Finely grate 50g pecorino cheese and 50g parmesan and mix them together. STEP 3 Beat the 3 large eggs in a medium bowl and season with a little freshly grated black pepper. Set everything aside. STEP 4 Add 1 tsp salt to the boiling water, add 350g spaghetti and when the water comes back to the boil, cook at a constant simmer, covered, for 10 minutes or until al dente (just cooked). STEP 5 Squash 2 peeled plump garlic cloves with the blade of a knife, just to bruise it. STEP 6 While the spaghetti is cooking, fry the pancetta with the garlic. Drop 50g unsalted butter into a large frying pan or wok and, as soon as the butter has melted, tip in the pancetta and garlic. STEP 7 Leave to cook on a medium heat for about 5 minutes, stirring often, until the pancetta is golden and crisp. The garlic has now imparted its flavour, so take it out with a slotted spoon and discard. STEP 8 Keep the heat under the pancetta on low. When the pasta is ready, lift it from the water with a pasta fork or tongs and put it in the frying pan with the pancetta. Don’t worry if a little water drops in the pan as well (you want this to happen) and don’t throw the pasta water away yet. STEP 9 Mix most of the cheese in with the eggs, keeping a small handful back for sprinkling over later. STEP 10 Take the pan of spaghetti and pancetta off the heat. Now quickly pour in the eggs and cheese. Using the tongs or a long fork, lift up the spaghetti so it mixes easily with the egg mixture, which thickens but doesn’t scramble, and everything is coated. STEP 11 Add extra pasta cooking water to keep it saucy (several tablespoons should do it). You don’t want it wet, just moist. Season with a little salt, if needed. STEP 12 Use a long-pronged fork to twist the pasta on to the serving plate or bowl. Serve immediately with a little sprinkling of the remaining cheese and a grating of black pepper. If the dish does get a little dry before serving, splash in some more hot pasta water and the glossy sauciness will be revived.

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