webnovel
WhiteNightingale
WhiteNightingaleAuthor1yr
2023-03-21 04:19

The author here. Thoughts? Do tell me what you think in the reviews. Enjoy the book. This is for WSA, so I would appreciate power stones once that opens up. Have fun guys.

Liked by 58 people

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Replies42
Mrblack45
Mrblack45Lv15

harem ?

Ovierode_Igoru
Ovierode_IgoruLv12

better not be

Mrblack45:harem ?
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Faier
FaierLv14

same question as the person above. harem? single female lead? romance?

WhiteNightingale
WhiteNightingaleAuthor

I am currently thinking of having one female lead. So no harem.

Maedreas
MaedreasLv13

is this confirmed?

WhiteNightingale:I am currently thinking of having one female lead. So no harem.
Maedreas
MaedreasLv13

bro thinking isnt strongest part of webnovels writers so what did u decide on? and pls write what u want and not what your audience wants, many writers lose passion for their work if they r forced to write something they dont want

WhiteNightingale:I am currently thinking of having one female lead. So no harem.
AWESOME_01
AWESOME_01Lv4

It was a good novel until the clichés. Not my cup of tea

YourN1ghtmare
YourN1ghtmareLv2

you overused "was" in your novel. i'm not too good with english too, but i think you made a lot of mistakes about that, try to count how much "was" you put in a single chapter.

machadogbc
machadogbcLv15

Have you decided if there is going to be romance? And if it’s going to be one love interest or more?

WhiteNightingale:I am currently thinking of having one female lead. So no harem.
NeverUMind
NeverUMindLv15

Late to the game here, but great job so far. I thought 70,000 dead lives was extreme, and I would like to see a couple of the people survive and pop up throughout the story. However, I get the setup. Personally, I agree with no harem. I see the harem trope too often. It’s typically used to inflate the greatness of the hero. He’s so great that one woman can’t hold him, but to take a decisive hero and then make him indecisive with women creates an unnecessary flaw. However, there is an opportunity to explore a polyamorous type relationship as opposed to a harem. That would be original.

WhiteNightingale:I am currently thinking of having one female lead. So no harem.
FallenAngeI
FallenAngeILv13

Yea, original way of getting bombed with 1 star reviews. That together with y*ri, NTR and other such tags don't work on webnovel.

NeverUMind:Late to the game here, but great job so far. I thought 70,000 dead lives was extreme, and I would like to see a couple of the people survive and pop up throughout the story. However, I get the setup. Personally, I agree with no harem. I see the harem trope too often. It’s typically used to inflate the greatness of the hero. He’s so great that one woman can’t hold him, but to take a decisive hero and then make him indecisive with women creates an unnecessary flaw. However, there is an opportunity to explore a polyamorous type relationship as opposed to a harem. That would be original.
NeverUMind
NeverUMindLv15

There’s an audience for everything.

FallenAngeI:Yea, original way of getting bombed with 1 star reviews. That together with y*ri, NTR and other such tags don't work on webnovel.
ikka
ikkaLv13

harem? yes or no? romance? yes or no?.. and if there is romance or harem in this.. then ffs change you freaking tags so that people know!..

WhiteNightingale:I am currently thinking of having one female lead. So no harem.
FOOL01
FOOL01Lv14

I've been enjoying the novel so far, recently got to the part where the Duke reached the city and things went 0-100 real quick. I gotta say, this is the first part of the story that i currently dont like. Im not saying the Duke cant do what he does, but it shouldn't be without consequences from the other dukes and king/emperor. For a mage to easily do that, regardless of rank would be idiotic. You have loss of a city, resources, incomes for the country, etc, whilst undermining the countrys current ruler.I hope you dont gloss this over in the future. otherwise its just way to over the top to establish a forced 'villian'/'antagonist'.that being said, ive been enjoying the story so far, and look forward to where it goes.

SinisterLaws
SinisterLawsLv12

Harems definitely ruin the story.

Ovierode_Igoru:better not be
NeverUMind
NeverUMindLv15

Guess you haven’t read Blacksmith of the Apocalypse.

FallenAngeI:Yea, original way of getting bombed with 1 star reviews. That together with y*ri, NTR and other such tags don't work on webnovel.
FallenAngeI
FallenAngeILv13

I have the first 150-ish chapters, what happens later on?

NeverUMind:Guess you haven’t read Blacksmith of the Apocalypse.
NeverUMind
NeverUMindLv15

Mina Fin and Seth are together. Polyamorous. There’s no detailed scenes that I can remember. And all the characters were written as sexually open from the get go.

FallenAngeI:I have the first 150-ish chapters, what happens later on?
FallenAngeI
FallenAngeILv13

But do they sleep with other ppl?

NeverUMind:Mina Fin and Seth are together. Polyamorous. There’s no detailed scenes that I can remember. And all the characters were written as sexually open from the get go.
SinisterLaws
SinisterLawsLv12

Mrblack45:harem ?
image
Other Reviews
Dreyerboys
DreyerboysLv15

Another generic progression-fantasy novel. It's okay, but nothing amazing or unique. If you're new to the genre, then by all means, give it a try. It's interesting enough, easy to read, and more like a slice-of-life than anything else. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that this novel should be classified as a Slice-of-Life. However, for those who have read plenty of magic-focused progression-fantasy stories, this is as basic as it comes. The MC has a unique cultivation system that sets him apart from the rest. He quickly becomes one of the strongest people in the "starter city" and moves on to the next one. I think there's an academy arc in there, a burdensome "younger sister", an auction where he obtains an op item, brain-dead villains, and more. The only difference between this one, and some of the better, more popular versions of it, is that the MC in this story is incredibly bland. No personality, no uniqueness, nothing. He just hunts down beasts and trains. I would've really liked to have seen more dialogue, more inner monologues, more... life. All in all, it's about average. Nothing special, but not bad. Comprehensive Review: Writing Quality (3/5): The grammar is fine, but like I said before, it's incredibly lifeless. There's no tension. No suspense. No emotion. No immersion. Most of the chapters are filled with the Author telling us what's happening instead of actually showing it. That's fine and all, considering he's probably a new author, but it really does kill the quality. Emotional scenes are left tasteless, but even when the Author does try to show, it feels forced. Telling and not showing is fine in Webnovels since if you had to "show" everything, the entire novel would take thousands of chapters. But, during action scenes, it's incredibly boring. I would like to actually experience those scenes with the MC. Update Stability (5/5): So far, the Author's been consistent, which is a huge plus. Story Development (2/5): If there is a plot, I can't find it. It's mostly just filled with the MC grinding, training, improving his cultivation, and reacting to certain events. Like I said, if this was a Slice-of-Life novel, I wouldn't criticize this part, but the author didn't tag it as such, nor does he portray the novel in that manner. Even then, unless it's about hunting (both humans and beasts) or cultivating, he's not very proactive. He just sort of floats along, doing whatever the author wants him to do. I think having some sort of direction would've really helped this novel, especially in the early stages. It takes so long (40+ chapters) to actually get moving, and even then, it's just more grinding, just in a different area. Other than that, things just kind of... happen. MC finds inheritance. MC trains. MC hunts. MC gets stronger. MC gets rich. MC buys stuff. MC helps younger sister. MC gets lucky. MC gets lucky. MC makes more money. MC gets stronger. MC leaves. There's no real depth to anything. His Cultivation Technique isn't all that unique. In fact, the world's whole cultivation system is incredibly simple. Mana Circles and Aura Circles (1-9). Like I said, it's a very easy read. If that's what you're looking for, then by all means, try it out. But for those of you wanting something more, you should probably look elsewhere. Character Design (2/5): If you couldn't tell by now, I'm not a fan of the MC. Rather, I'm not a fan of any character except for Trevor, but he's just a supporting character, and not much was known about him. However, at the same time, I think it's more that I'm not a fan of how the Author portrays the characters rather than the characters themselves. With how bland everything is, it's really hard to get a read on the character's personality, values, and interests. He basically does nothing other than train, train, train. I would really like to see more character interactions and some character development. It doesn't have to be anything drastic, but I would at least like to see the MC growing or at least, changing. World Background (3/5): Not too much is known about the world. I assume this might be further explored during the Academy Arc or somewhere further down the line, but I don't know. So, for now, I'll give it 3 stars, considering the MC isn't reincarnated/transmigrated or any of that stuff. A character inside their own world is a nice touch. Random Comment: THE ECONOMY! Oh my god! The economy in this story makes no sense! Money just seems to flow into the MC's pockets, but all the rest of these commoners out here are just poor blokes even though they're working hard too?! They only hunt like once a month? And have to do it in groups? What? Do they really get that injured every time?! Nonsense! Even if he is stronger than other 1st Circle people with his cultivation technique, it shouldn't be by that much. Not to mention, the prices of items make no sense. I think it said that 1 Star Coin (currency) could buy a meal. Let's say a loaf of bread, in real life, costs $2 (which is on the low end), that would mean 1 Star Coin is worth ~$4 at the worst. Yet, he's able to rake in hundreds of thousands, even millions, each month while only having strength equivalent to a 1st and 2nd Circle mage!? Huh? The man is even richer than the nobles! To top it off, all he has to do to earn that is travel like 5 minutes to the nearest forest, hunt a few beasts every day, and sell them. Is everybody in this world just useless? Where is all this money coming from, especially in a smaller town? He should've crashed the economy by now! Normally, I wouldn't even pay attention to this, as it doesn't matter, but it feels like the Author just arbitrarily assigns numbers to things without much thought. Money is brought up quite a bit, so this issue is very noticeable. I would've liked for there to be at least a little bit of thought behind the currency. Doesn't have to be much. Just a little outline in your notes would do. Overall: 3/5

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