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thefirespeaks
thefirespeaksLv111yr
2023-04-01 17:13

I like how you outlined your character in a design that would be relatable to your readers. Personally, I love a main character that could make me feel something and that's what made me feel about him. Moreover, as I read through the novel, it was very easy to read, resembling a feel-good novel, the type that would give the readers a sense of relief and belonging, I guess? I've read until chapter 2. Until now, I'm very intrigued at how he will carry out his life in this new world, not to mention, as a janitor. However, some sentences seem off-putting in terms of tenses. I suggest you be consistent with this one as this may distract your readers' attention in the novel. Regardless, to me, they aren't worth mentioning compared to the novel's premise itself. But still, work on them if you want to improve your writing skills further. Overall, it's very interesting. I have already added this to my library and will read this in my free time! Good job, author! :)))

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An_Ineloquent_Pen
An_Ineloquent_PenAuthor

Thank you for the feedback. I sometimes write my chapters in quite a few segments, so I can imagine that I mess up the tenses from session to session. Good eye, I'll be sure to pay more attention to it in the future. - Pen

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