webnovel
Dante_Hellscythe
Dante_HellscytheLv41yr
2023-03-26 10:32

Really good world building, to the point it gives the story 4 points on it's own, characters are ok, but do feel a bit one-dimensional at times, however the story progression is the worst part, somehow completely filled with the background of the world to the point the actual story feels unimportant, it gets better later on but its still a problem. In resume: Story has a lot of potential especially in the world build, but while it did deliver a good story, it didn't live up to what that world needed.

Reincarnation of the Cross

Pendulum_
4.8
87 Chs

Liked by 3 people

LIKE
Replies4
Pendulum_
Pendulum_Author

Apologies for the poor character development but I am working on it, it's my first novel so do bear with me. I hope you stay tuned.

1yr
Pendulum_
Pendulum_Author

Also, what characters do you relieve require the most development and haven't gotten it, if you have any do tell let me make sure I fix it...

1yr
Dante_Hellscythe
Dante_HellscytheLv4

It's less about the characters and more about the flow of events, some plot points feels rushed, you putting someone into a mold that doesn't quite fit in order to achieve a scene and explaining about the world a lot to the point the story itself takes a backseat. All of these can be fixed by just showing scenes in a different order or adding a chapter to better reach what you want. In my opinion, you have a clear view on how your world works, but the story itself is a bit blurry, try to think ahead, find the plot points you must go through, realize the events that must take place to reach said plot, this way you have a guide to reach a better story flow.

Pendulum_:Also, what characters do you relieve require the most development and haven't gotten it, if you have any do tell let me make sure I fix it...
1yr
2
Pendulum_
Pendulum_Author

Noted, thanks for the information

Dante_Hellscythe:It's less about the characters and more about the flow of events, some plot points feels rushed, you putting someone into a mold that doesn't quite fit in order to achieve a scene and explaining about the world a lot to the point the story itself takes a backseat. All of these can be fixed by just showing scenes in a different order or adding a chapter to better reach what you want. In my opinion, you have a clear view on how your world works, but the story itself is a bit blurry, try to think ahead, find the plot points you must go through, realize the events that must take place to reach said plot, this way you have a guide to reach a better story flow.
1yr
Other Reviews
Pendulum_
Pendulum_Author

Excuse my shamelessness lol, but I believe this is a good book it just depends on how you view stories and hope to gain better understanding of a character. If you want a properly developing story with an acceptable system of knowledge then you're in the right place. The story has a good pacing as well as a strong MC which I'm sure you'll like, take your time and enjoy this journey with me...

1yr

Whispy_Aqua
Whispy_AquaLv1

The realism is what makes the novel good, the manner with which the MC describes his emotions and how he levels up with logic I was most impressed with Scentia -- the Oracle Engine it's a "unique" ability that you rarely come across. The novel itself looks like System and at the same time isn't so I understand the tags used.

1yr
LazyErosage
LazyErosageLv3

Dear author, I must say that your novel has caught my attention with its intriguing concept and plot. I encourage you to keep going with the direction you feel is right for the story, and trust in your instincts as a writer. Remember to focus on developing your characters and their motivations, as this will create a strong foundation for the plot to unfold. Additionally, exploring the themes and underlying messages of your story can add depth and resonance to the narrative. Overall, I wish you the best of luck with your novel and look forward to reading more of your work.

1yr
Selectials
SelectialsLv4

1) Quality of writing - 4. 2) Stability update - 5. 3) Plot development - 3,1. 4) Character design - 2,7 5) background of the world - 3,4. 6) Overall rating - 3,7

1yr
f1n
f1nLv11

Reveal spoiler

1yr
MrBoness
MrBonessLv3

That's an AMAZING plot! I loved it, and despite a few punctuation and grammar issues, the story hooked me right from the start! I just think the paragraphs could be a little shorter, to make the reading a bit more dynamic. Despite that, chef's kiss!

1yr
Tripple1ZRO
Tripple1ZROLv15

I think that this is an interesting and novel novel. Mc splitting himself into two and then managing then brings freshness to the already used up reincarnation and other elements. I am excited to see where this is going to go and excited to learn how the double mc is going to utilize this to his advantage. Good Luck Author!

1yr
MZAF
MZAFLv12

Good Story . I love the way the author tells the story . It just gives more emotion and perspective . The plot is also very unique . I was hook up and did not get bored reading it.

1yr
AYESHA_FAHIM
AYESHA_FAHIMLv1

I wholeheartedly endorse this book. Without a doubt, you ought to look it up! I'm only reading the few chapter of this book, so I can only judge it, but I have to commend Sypnosis for being the first chapter that actually grabbed my attention. I will read the next chapter since it was fantastic I will read the next chapter since it was fantastic.

1yr
Related Stories

Brand New Life Online: Rise Of The Goddess Of Harvest

Have you ever felt like you wanted to live a new life as someone else? Have you ever desired to experience a new life without the limits that our daily lives always put us through? Have you ever had the crave for adventure and to soar across endless horizons? Brand New Life Online, a new Full Dive VRMMO promised to make all these dreams come true. Said to be a brand-new experience at life, an incredibly realistic game and acclaimed to be fantastically complex yet simplistic enough for just anybody to understand and enjoy, this virtual reality game quickly took over the entire world of video games, with new players soaring the tens of millions in its first year of launch! Elayne, a young mother, is suddenly thrown into this game because she wanted to reconnect with her daughter, but she’ll quickly find herself delving into endless conflicts, fights, action, and a world filled with history and mysteries… Will our protagonist be able to progress through these challenges all while taking care of her farm, protecting the forest, and also seeking her daughter? Who knows? Maybe she’ll even end up defeating a World Boss! Over 100000 Words available for FREE! Daily Chapters Note : Vote for the Novel for extra weekly chapters. 100 Power Stones = 1 Extra Chapter per week 200 Power Stones = 2 Extra Chapters per week 500 Power Stones = 3 Extra chapters per week 10 Golden Tickets = 1 Extra chapters per week 20 Golden Tickets = 2 Extra chapters per week 50 Golden Tickets = 3 Extra chapters per week

PancakesWitch · Fantasy
4.8
1402 Chs

Chaos' Heir

A recurring nightmare afflicted Khan's nights since the Second Impact. His dreams replayed the scenes of the crash of the Nak's spaceship, an alien race that the humans had defeated five hundred years ago. Khan's life had turned upside-down after the tragedy. His mother had died during the incident, and the Nak's toxic mana had infected him. His father had managed to save him, but they ended up losing their home and name in the process. The nightmares wouldn't let Khan forget about the Nak, so he decided to join the Global Army and learn to wield mana. He had to put an end to those dreams, even if that meant hunting down that alien race through the stars. ------------------------------------- Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/EoCNovels Instagram: eocnovels Discord link: https://discord.gg/fNsPwXMP7P Cover artist: https://digitalrowye.com/

Eveofchaos · Fantasy
4.7
953 Chs

Dark Magus Returns

Raze Cromwell was one who had suffered his entire life. A cruel upbringing that had forced his nature to turn sour. In order to survive, he did everything and anything he could, eventually giving him the name Dark Magus. A title that was only given to the very best of mages. “Everything in this world was taken from me, So I shall take everything from the world.” The five Supreme Magus had gathered to eliminate the great Raze, on his last legs, the Dark Magus had one more trick up his sleeve. Activating a forbidden spell, he finds himself living in another world, a world full of martial artists. A world where one could destroy mountain tops with their fist, but Magic still exists in the new world, and he’s the only one that knows about it. **** Note: Raze Cromwell is a character who briefly appears in My vampire system. (For 2 Chapters) There is no need to read My vampire system. Since this story is based on Raze before he became what he was in vampire system. Instagram: JKSManga Discord: jksmanga https://discord.gg/jksmanga

JKSManga · Fantasy
4.4
1036 Chs

My SSS-Rank Class Is Blood Monarch!

'Divinity Online'. The new breakthrough in the Full-Immersion Virtual Reality technology. After decades of work, Divinity Corp had achieved the impossible. Creating a massive video game world that people can enter and live in as if it were Earth. Their goal was clear, to create a world other than Earth that we can call home. A place where the laws of reality vanish, and the true ceiling of power shifts completely. Naturally, the shockwave Divinity Online created across the entire globe was unlike anything else. Every single person has heard of it, even those who have had no interest in video games before. Giant corporations and even governments immediately rushed to start planning to invest in this new world and just like that, billions of people had their eyes on one single date: the 19th of July. *** Arthur, like everyone else, had heard of the game and was as excited as everyone else to try it, if not even more. With how much he grew bored of his life on earth, this fantasy world was like the divine call he had been searching for. However, there was a very small problem. He had no money to buy the machine required to access Divinity Online. His wretched life had turned him into a broke teenager with no parents, and no relatives. But, by some kind of luck, he got his hands on one of those machines. Not knowing what was awaiting him in that world, Arthur was simply seeking one thing... A new opportunity in life and to find a purpose he could work for when he had none so far. [Welcome to 'Divinity Online'.] [Assimilation Started...]

Frost_Bite8 · Fantasy
4.2
246 Chs

Awakening: Reincarnating With the SSS-Level Extraction Talent

Alex, killed by the God of Darkness, was crushed by his giant sword and woke up to find himself back on the day the 'Universal Descent' game launched! Monsters and gods hadn't began to descend into Earth yet, and so this meant that Alex, along with his 10 years of experience, could now make a difference. But surprise, once he re-enters the world of 'Universal Descent', instead of awakening his normal C-Level talent, he instead awakens the SSS-Level 'Extraction' talent! He could now extract items, talents, attributes and skills from monsters! Ding! [You have extracted the Artifact-Level 'Excalibur'!] [You have extracted the SSS-Level 'Meteor' Skill!] [You have extracted the Artifact-Level 'World Map'!] Now, there was no monster or god in this game that could stop him!

ChampionDog · Fantasy
4.7
198 Chs

Affinity:Chaos

Check out my other book as well Lunar:Secret Guardians ******************* "Grey, elemental affinity, zero" The Elder announced the result loudly On hearing this, it was like a bolt of lightning struck Grey, he stood there dumbfounded and just stared at the Elder. Shocked voices could be heard from the people and there was some which were also filled with scorn. Grey stood dazed amidst all the noises without any reactions. One word was constantly reverberating in his head, 'How?'. 'Why, why did this happen to me?' Grey asked himself over and over again **************** Unbeknownst to Grey, something greater lies in wait in his body.... *************** Check out the book, leave a review after reading, and also your powerstones. Hope you enjoy this, and Thanks for reading ^_^ P.S: When I started this book I had zero writing experience, so the first chapters aren't that great, although, my writing quality has improved over time. Also, English isn't my first language, so there are some instances where my choice of words are not good enough for what I'm trying to portray. A heads up, the book will be using a medieval setting. My world building is not the best, but it gets better over time, so bear with me on the early chapters! P.S: Cover art not mine I just edited it. If you're the owner and want me to take it down you can notify me. Other novel: Lunar:Secret Guardians Check it out as well! Discord Server: https://discord.gg/gs68a4ZzaN

Springs_Halo · Fantasy
4.4
1729 Chs

The First Legendary Beast Master

Born into a dirt poor mining family, Karl only had one chance to get ahead in life, the annual elite recruitment day. On their final day of middle school, every student in the Golden Dragon Nation was given an experimental injection to awaken their affinity with magic. Those few who succeeded would become the Elite, the leaders and idols of the nation, blessed with incredible magical powers and respected by all. Those who did not would return to their normal lives of hard work and low wages, just doing the best they could. But with the nation surrounded by enemies, both humans and monsters, how long would these peaceful days of magical idols last? Follow the story of Karl as he awakens a unique power and strives to become the world's first Legendary Beast Master.

Aoki_Aku · Fantasy
4.5
694 Chs
Login