webnovel
OliverfINKing
OliverfINKingLv32yr
2023-04-18 22:03

This review is based on my first impression of the novel, evaluating bookcover, synopsis, tags and the first chapter so it's probable I'll edit it in the future. In the complex a good bookcover and synopsis, for the second one: you could add to It an extract to show your writing style to the web surfer. The writing style Is of good quality but the three different POV seemed stop the reading process a bit too much in my opinion. The stability of the updates isn't much regular, I saw It happened being days without uploads and One with two, still nothing too serious. The story development feels fast, in fact already fromthe first chapter we have many informations about the m.c. and hints about the two probable main individuals of the opposing factions: good (the man in light which I suppose Is going to be exchanged with the m.c.) vs evil (the man in darkness which appears near the end of the first chapter). The characters, with the combination of the short synopsis and tags give the impression of being a bit cliché (I hope I'll edit this parte in the future). The world setting seems to be a modern fantasy type. Finally in the complex I recomend the read.

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Other Reviews
hidingpanduh
hidingpanduhLv12

This is a novel of epic porportions with dizzying and intense action scenes. I like how Aaron develops his knowledge and powers as the book goes on. I also like how we dive into his past origin of being a son of a Duke, but I don’t remember if you mention whether this is a past life or the same life. Nevertheless I enjoyed reading the latter chapters, chock full of mysterious happenings. You mentioned I’m good at writing character interaction and I think you are also very good at writing interactions between characters. You are able to cause fear and disgust and worry in me as you describe the violence and gory details, when characters get hurt or tested like that weird woman training Aaron in the pain box. One note I’ll touch on is that you switch between past and present a lot and it gets confusing for me, perhaps try to stick to one tense so the grammar will be better as well as smoothening out the flow of the story. I probably don’t need to tell you about the information dumping but just a reminder to think from the reader’s perspective, that too much information dumping all at once can be overwhelming. Even if it is in dialogue maybe pace it so that more information gets revealed slower throughout the chapters instead of big blocks of explanation and not much story showing. I’ve finished up to chapter 15 and I look forward to seeing what Aaron does next in the story and how his origin story will continue, and what will happen to the rest of the characters. Overall I really like the way you introduce new characters and each character really spices things up. Just keep in mind about the tenses and information dumping when you go through the editing process. Keep it up, keep writing!

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