webnovel
Greay
GreayLv21yr
2023-04-18 01:19

Overall, I must say that I really like the story, especially the personality of the protagonist, Aaron. The plot is well-structured and the story progresses at a steady pace, which keeps me engaged and invested in the story. However, one area where the story could be improved is its grammar. There are several instances where the grammar lacks proper structure and clarity, which can sometimes make it difficult to follow the narrative. That being said, I can still see great potential in the novel. With a bit of work on the grammar, the story could really shine and attract a larger audience. I appreciate the author's hard work and dedication to the project and would encourage them to keep going. I am looking forward to reading more and seeing how the story develops in the future.

Consume the light

goffyboy
4.5
22 Chs

Liked it!

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Other Reviews
ThePression
ThePressionLv2

I really enjoyed your story! However, I noticed a few typos that you might want to review. If English is not your first language, I recommend using an AI tool to help with it. Keep up the good work!

1yr

Rainandstorm
RainandstormLv2

Okay okay, just going to say this right now, am totally loving the ML Aaron 😅😅, Like so much... The plot is also well structured and the potentials of this book is highly there

1yr
hidingpanduh
hidingpanduhLv12

This is a novel of epic porportions with dizzying and intense action scenes. I like how Aaron develops his knowledge and powers as the book goes on. I also like how we dive into his past origin of being a son of a Duke, but I don’t remember if you mention whether this is a past life or the same life. Nevertheless I enjoyed reading the latter chapters, chock full of mysterious happenings. You mentioned I’m good at writing character interaction and I think you are also very good at writing interactions between characters. You are able to cause fear and disgust and worry in me as you describe the violence and gory details, when characters get hurt or tested like that weird woman training Aaron in the pain box. One note I’ll touch on is that you switch between past and present a lot and it gets confusing for me, perhaps try to stick to one tense so the grammar will be better as well as smoothening out the flow of the story. I probably don’t need to tell you about the information dumping but just a reminder to think from the reader’s perspective, that too much information dumping all at once can be overwhelming. Even if it is in dialogue maybe pace it so that more information gets revealed slower throughout the chapters instead of big blocks of explanation and not much story showing. I’ve finished up to chapter 15 and I look forward to seeing what Aaron does next in the story and how his origin story will continue, and what will happen to the rest of the characters. Overall I really like the way you introduce new characters and each character really spices things up. Just keep in mind about the tenses and information dumping when you go through the editing process. Keep it up, keep writing!

1yr
OliverfINKing
OliverfINKingLv3

This review is based on my first impression of the novel, evaluating bookcover, synopsis, tags and the first chapter so it's probable I'll edit it in the future. In the complex a good bookcover and synopsis, for the second one: you could add to It an extract to show your writing style to the web surfer. The writing style Is of good quality but the three different POV seemed stop the reading process a bit too much in my opinion. The stability of the updates isn't much regular, I saw It happened being days without uploads and One with two, still nothing too serious. The story development feels fast, in fact already fromthe first chapter we have many informations about the m.c. and hints about the two probable main individuals of the opposing factions: good (the man in light which I suppose Is going to be exchanged with the m.c.) vs evil (the man in darkness which appears near the end of the first chapter). The characters, with the combination of the short synopsis and tags give the impression of being a bit cliché (I hope I'll edit this parte in the future). The world setting seems to be a modern fantasy type. Finally in the complex I recomend the read.

1yr
Mi_22
Mi_22Lv11

The grammar needs some rework in the initial chapters. Narratively, it's packed with good world-building and detailing, with scenes flowing smoothly with no hiccups. Hope, the author has fixed his early shortcomings since the novel already has 15 chapters or so. Anyways, you have a good story, author, wish you good luck!

1yr
Mel_goddess123
Mel_goddess123Lv4

Love the book already, if you're looking for a fresh intriguing read, hop on this!

1yr
Augustdsuza
AugustdsuzaLv1

The synopsis and grammar need a brush-up. It doesn't do justice to your story. Your story has so much potential. The scenes need a bit of coherence and flow. Other than that, it's definitely worth a read. Keep up the good work dear!!!

1yr
KoptaMan
KoptaManLv2

Its good needs some improvement and the hypnosis sucks sry for saying that my bad [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=update]

1yr
Dao_lord_
Dao_lord_Lv2

The plot starts with Aaron meeting up on a date with his girlfriend, In a twist of fate he meets up with a group of mysterious individuals, who save him from a fiery tiger monster. If you are into vampires and mysticism then I would really recommend giving it a read. The only downside is the minor grammatical errors which interrupt the immersion, but it’s not really that big of problem, and is easily fixable.

1yr
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