webnovel
Khaled_Azzam
Khaled_AzzamLv41yr
2023-06-08 08:34

Please don't screw up this novel It was good up until the part the MC becomes emotional and rose and MC weird and awkward scenesDon't make the MC and emotional idiot I understand he has to deal with his darkness but don't make it too weird and crazy. Make him a tiny bit emotionless and get him to be angry at Rose and her family for restricting his freedom. Get him to tell her to leave him alone or for him to strong arm her father into giving him some space(I mean he's a transmigrator so he knows some info get him to properly use it for his advantage) I know he should use the light and not just be in the shadow but don't make him fully come out into the light keep the majority of his actions un the shadowsand for gods sake make him a bit smarter to be a tiny step ahead of everything and everyone I really hope you take my suggestions into consideration because this novel has potential

Liked by 16 people

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Replies5
badwriterxD03
badwriterxD03Lv4

I would like to say that I agree, I have read too many stories with a similar plot, and I think the outcome would be subpar, but of course, I think the author knows how to develop the story.

Supreme_Slaughter
Supreme_SlaughterLv1

Please try my new novel Universal War ( There might be only three chapters but please help me point out and would love if you could leave a review)

Ireallylikereading
IreallylikereadingLv4

bro i checked your works but didnt find anything like that, your original works doesnt have a universal war novel/manga/fanfic in it. i cant help if theres no way to

Supreme_Slaughter:Please try my new novel Universal War ( There might be only three chapters but please help me point out and would love if you could leave a review)
Supreme_Slaughter
Supreme_SlaughterLv1

yoo, uh i did change it a bit and stopped bcuz of my studies. Pretty sure il pick it soon, just check it in a min il change the title back to normal k?

Ireallylikereading:bro i checked your works but didnt find anything like that, your original works doesnt have a universal war novel/manga/fanfic in it. i cant help if theres no way to
Supreme_Slaughter
Supreme_SlaughterLv1

i changed the name to ruler of the void

Ireallylikereading:bro i checked your works but didnt find anything like that, your original works doesnt have a universal war novel/manga/fanfic in it. i cant help if theres no way to
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