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Eric8the4lost_Lv41yr
2024-02-13 03:14

I only one critique. The part of the story where he fights The Mountain is great except for the fact that he's making a bunch of references during the fight. He's doing this in a fight against a man who killed and ra#ed the woman he loved. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it makes the fight seem less meaningful. I'm not sure if that was the point, but it still feels like it could have been handled better.

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JManMAuthor

He'd already pre-loaded the emotions of that fight several chapters prior. At that point he was just yoloing. A 'if you 're already sliding on the ice, you might as well dance' situation. For him it was more about putting on a show than taking passionate revenge.

Eric8the4lost_Lv4

That's fair, even if I still personally dislike it.

JManM:He'd already pre-loaded the emotions of that fight several chapters prior. At that point he was just yoloing. A 'if you 're already sliding on the ice, you might as well dance' situation. For him it was more about putting on a show than taking passionate revenge.
Other Reviews
JaquaviontaviousLv14

“Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." | have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.” - A soldier whos name is lost in the sands of time. May he rest in peace. From this im sure you have the mental capabilities to assess the quality of this work and all others of its creator.

eccentricbeing18Lv4

Well, it was good before chapter 11. We can see how the rugged life of the north corrupted him bit by bit which is realistic in a way but it slowly starts going downhill from there. It looks like the author is trying to make the story into a Vinland saga kind of story. The mc gets more irrational in his decisions but the plot armor dictates it works out well. Things like having the savagery for carnage like an Ironborn but is still liked by his people. Telling how he almost raped a wildling to his wife with no remorse without any marital consequence. Seriously, she proclaimed that it was the worst thing she ever heard in her whole life. There are no repercussions after that whatsoever. A sheltered noble from the Reach has heard 2 of the worst things in her life from the person she's supposed to spend the rest of her life with but nothing happened. Then, his decision to kill wildlings for the next 25 years to somehow lessen the Night King's army. Hays... This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Thousands of years had already passed. The Night King already has his enormous army. The wildlings that is still alive is barely half a percent of the dead in those thousands of years. Even if with some miracle, you manage to kill every wildling and ship of their remains of there, it will barely leave a mark on the Night King's army. Not only did you kill potential soldiers, but your men also died a meaningless battle. The edge of this fic is too narrow it can cut atoms. That's how st*pidly edgy this is.

DetachedDreamerLv14

Good story and great grammar so far. Story is unique-ish you could say but feels more like a direct response to other GOT fanfics and their flaws instead of being its own story. which surprisingly seems to be one of the reasons for much of its praise, I feel thats not exactly how a story should be built on but you can't deny the reviews. a male genitalia fascination, hopefully for comic relief instead of a reason to lord over other male characters like other stories love to do. MC seems to feel slightly superior to all other characters in his mentality and very critical of them, borderline hateful. if you had a dime for all the MCs who bash the people in the world they're in to start off any fanfic story then you'd be rich, this story included. There are good qualities to the MC, even great ones as well, which I suggest reading to find out, because it seems worth it so far. Definitely a unique choice of character to reincarnate as which is a plus. I will continue reading as long as the MCs first thought isn't to bash a character for who they were on a TV show at every turn. when an MC doesn't fully embrace this world as his new reality it really hurts the immersion factor I value in a story and I feel breaking the 4th wall to talk about such things does exactly that. I do love the slow kingdom building sense that the story has except its mostly rooted in bashing other GoT fanfics as I've pointed out earlier. The author does seem knowledgeable in methods he implements to advance his community which I do love. Overall worth it to read. and I definitely wrote too much.

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The_Grand_Warden · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
240 Chs