It's a nice story and I can see it is going to be a very long one since we are talking about war. If you like elves and wizards and giants and so on and so forth, then you might like it. However... There are some things I'd like to point out. It' the onomatopoeia. While I understand why the author likes using it. Maybe for realism and stuff. But putting them in dialogues sounded awkward and breaks the reader's immersion. (IN MY OPINION). For example: "Huuuuf, ask William..." (I understand the 'huuuuf' there is a sigh but why not just say "Person A sighed." Because in reality, people don't really say "huuuuf". We say, "Ha!" Huuuuf is okay but just don't put them in dialogues. Again, IN MY OPINION.) Next. "Um-hum," Geoffrey nodded with his eyes closed. (Again, people don't say "um-hum" in real life. We say, "hmm". Also, don't you think it's better if you just say, "Geoffrey hummed in response as he nodded with his eyes closed." There are better ways to say it but you get the idea.) I hope this helps and I hope this review doesn't hurt your feelings in any way, author. Wish you all the best and have a great day.
Liked it!
LIKE
yeah, that is something I do have difficulty with, you may notice that the SFX change multiple times, simply because I'm not sure how things sound, but your suggestion does sound like a valid replacement, ill probably try it out in one of the coming chapters.
Please give mine a try Name: Reincarnation of the Cross
