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Abysalyounglord
AbysalyounglordLv52yr
2023-03-27 17:49

The story seems to revolve around the theme of the struggle to overcome a difficult childhood and the search for a sense of normalcy and belonging. It has the potential to be a poignant and inspiring tale. One potential piece of advice for the author is to focus on developing the characters and their motivations. The protagonist's desire for a normal life is clear, but it would be beneficial to explore why this is so important to them and what drives them to keep pushing forward despite the challenges they face. Additionally, the author may want to consider incorporating descriptive language to create a vivid and immersive setting that complements the emotional depth of the story. Overall, the premise of the story is intriguing and has the potential to resonate with readers. With some additional character development and attention to detail, the author could create a compelling and unforgettable narrative. Good Luck...

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Thefantastictouch
ThefantastictouchLv4

I usually try to at least read the first 10 chapters of a book before reviewing it. However, i couldn’t bring myself to do so with this one( i stopped at chapter 2). The reasons are : - The book is too fast paced . I have the feeling that the author is constantly jumping from actions to actions at a lightning speed, which makes it difficult to process the things that are happening. - The grammar is terrible. I'm myself not a native english speaker. I also recognize that it's difficult not to make mistakes while writing. However, there are so many mistakes in this book that it's just too painful to read it . - I, as a reader, didn’t feel the emotions that the author tried to convey . It's supposed to be sad that the Mc's parents died. However, it was so quickly told and dealt with that i didn't get to feel the emotions the author tried to convey . It also didn’t help that we were directly plunged in an action right in the beginning of the story, while not knowing the Mc or his family at all. - The first chapters didn’t answer these basic questions : who is the Mc ( personality and morality)? Why should i follow his adventures ? ( his goal , his motivations or something intriguing / interesting about him ) - The writing itself is problematic. The formulations, the structure of the sentences, the almost absent and/ or confusing punctuation, the badly done descriptions( when there are proper descriptions to speak of) , the dialogues... i know it's an app on which there are many aspiring authors. However , it's not an excuse for neglecting these basic problems which might make a book with a good story to tell, so distasteful that people simply don’t want to read it. All in all , the first chapters of a book are like its showcase . So , please author , try to write them correctly in your next works.

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