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Drew_Archeron
Drew_ArcheronLv11yr
2023-02-03 08:31

A werewolf. A vampire. With electrokinesis and Telekinesis. All in one person. What could possibly go wrong? should be interesting to see where the author takes this tale

Liked by 8 people

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Replies5
ZoeTinnah
ZoeTinnahAuthor

thanks for the review, man it means alot to me

No_Harem
No_HaremLv4

is this a harem or no harem ?

ZoeTinnah:thanks for the review, man it means alot to me
ZoeTinnah
ZoeTinnahAuthor

No harem

No_Harem:is this a harem or no harem ?
Romance_guy
Romance_guyLv14

Romance?

ZoeTinnah:No harem
ZoeTinnah
ZoeTinnahAuthor

Actiom

Romance_guy:Romance?
Other Reviews
Thefantastictouch
ThefantastictouchLv4

I usually try to at least read the first 10 chapters of a book before reviewing it. However, i couldn’t bring myself to do so with this one( i stopped at chapter 2). The reasons are : - The book is too fast paced . I have the feeling that the author is constantly jumping from actions to actions at a lightning speed, which makes it difficult to process the things that are happening. - The grammar is terrible. I'm myself not a native english speaker. I also recognize that it's difficult not to make mistakes while writing. However, there are so many mistakes in this book that it's just too painful to read it . - I, as a reader, didn’t feel the emotions that the author tried to convey . It's supposed to be sad that the Mc's parents died. However, it was so quickly told and dealt with that i didn't get to feel the emotions the author tried to convey . It also didn’t help that we were directly plunged in an action right in the beginning of the story, while not knowing the Mc or his family at all. - The first chapters didn’t answer these basic questions : who is the Mc ( personality and morality)? Why should i follow his adventures ? ( his goal , his motivations or something intriguing / interesting about him ) - The writing itself is problematic. The formulations, the structure of the sentences, the almost absent and/ or confusing punctuation, the badly done descriptions( when there are proper descriptions to speak of) , the dialogues... i know it's an app on which there are many aspiring authors. However , it's not an excuse for neglecting these basic problems which might make a book with a good story to tell, so distasteful that people simply don’t want to read it. All in all , the first chapters of a book are like its showcase . So , please author , try to write them correctly in your next works.

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