webnovel
coldog22
coldog22Lv151yr
2023-05-26 01:27

I can't get past the grammer issues and repetitive sentences. Multiple paragraphs in the same chapter contradict themselves. The story may have had potential, but I can't continue this to find out.

Liked by 10 people

LIKE
Replies2
Zero_writer
Zero_writerAuthor

Thanks for taking the time to write a review. I know the grammar is not good, especially in the starting chapters. I will soon rewrite the starting chapters, it is just getting delayed because of some reasons.

coldog22
coldog22Lv15

If/When you do, please comment on here again. I'll go back and read from the beginning. If it's improved enough to get me hooked, I'll update my review.

Zero_writer:Thanks for taking the time to write a review. I know the grammar is not good, especially in the starting chapters. I will soon rewrite the starting chapters, it is just getting delayed because of some reasons.
image
Other Reviews
Related Stories

Lackey's Seducing Survival Odyssey

The world was cruel..... Especially for those who had lost their chances to shine. Aether was one of them.... Aether, an individual born with a silver spoon, found himself discarded like a defective product. He had longed for love and tenderness, but what others showed him was nothing but pain. Even in the face of that pain, he smiled not because he wanted to, but because he had no other choice. Despite the heartbreak, he entered into a hell called society with a beautiful smile..... "Can't you do a single thing!!" "..." "You are fired!!!" "....W-Wh.." "I am sorry, Sir, but you need at least a bachelor's degree to enter our company!!" "....I-I am..." "I am sorry, Sir, but we cannot provide a loan for your ideas without reassurance!!" "....W-Why?" "I heard your father is a politician.... So, You know...." "...." After a long struggle, he finally got a job, but his brother's words rang in his ears: "Yeah, yeah… I know you got the job thanks to me, of course. So, don't ever contact me or even MY parents" his brother declared. "...Heh..." Just as he believed he had earned society's recognition, an unforeseen event claimed his pathetic, seemingly worthless life.... "HONK!! HONK!!" Yet, amidst the cruelty of society, he defiantly cried, “I JUST WANT TO LIVE!!!!!” Witnessing his heartfelt cry and desire to live in the hellish place called society, he was granted a second chance. ~Ding!~ However, even in this new life, his situation remained unchanged. He continued to struggle not only to live and eat but also..... seduction. "HOW DARE YOU SEDUCE THE PRINCESS!!" ".....he..he... B-But I didn't seduce her!!" "HOW DARE YOU SEDUCE MY MOTHER!!" "...Hehe" "YOU HAVE SOME NERVE TO SEDUCE MY WIFE, DON'T YOU?" "HEHEHEHEHEE....." _________________ Discord Server Link: 6JA46z23bw

AbiLIon · Fantasy
4.5
751 Chs

My SSS-Rank Class Is Blood Monarch!

'Divinity Online'. The new breakthrough in the Full-Immersion Virtual Reality technology. After decades of work, Divinity Corp had achieved the impossible. Creating a massive video game world that people can enter and live in as if it were Earth. Their goal was clear, to create a world other than Earth that we can call home. A place where the laws of reality vanish, and the true ceiling of power shifts completely. Naturally, the shockwave Divinity Online created across the entire globe was unlike anything else. Every single person has heard of it, even those who have had no interest in video games before. Giant corporations and even governments immediately rushed to start planning to invest in this new world and just like that, billions of people had their eyes on one single date: the 19th of July. *** Arthur, like everyone else, had heard of the game and was as excited as everyone else to try it, if not even more. With how much he grew bored of his life on earth, this fantasy world was like the divine call he had been searching for. However, there was a very small problem. He had no money to buy the machine required to access Divinity Online. His wretched life had turned him into a broke teenager with no parents, and no relatives. But, by some kind of luck, he got his hands on one of those machines. Not knowing what was awaiting him in that world, Arthur was simply seeking one thing... A new opportunity in life and to find a purpose he could work for when he had none so far. [Welcome to 'Divinity Online'.] [Assimilation Started...]

Frost_Bite8 · Fantasy
4.2
291 Chs

The Invincible Full-Moon System

The sinful acts of humanity bring forth a great calamity upon themselves, or so they thought. Supernatural Emergence happened. Supernatural creatures start to come out of nowhere and forcefully claim half of the Earth and massacre any humans that cross their paths. All of them are too powerful, dozens of countries fall under their diabolic claws. Humanity was pushed against the corner. But things started to turn around when humanity began to awaken magical powers. Awakened is the name for those who awaken these powers blessed by the Gods, and they become the pillars of humanity. Rex Silverstar is a normal boy who has a traumatic experience. On the day of the Supernatural Emergence, a Werewolf takes everything he has. He lost his family and his home, left alone in this cruel world. What drives him to live every day is his deep hatred towards the Supernaturals. Joining the military in the hope of helping exterminate the Supernaturals from an early age, he found out that it's impossible to kill the Werewolf that was responsible for killing his parents without being an Awakened. On a fateful night, in a near-death experience, he's given a chance by the full moon. It was the turning point of his life. Obtaining a System that allows him to become stronger, having the potential to match and surpass the Supernaturals, Rex was ecstatic until he saw his stats window. "I'M NOT A WEREWOLF!!" "Daily quest failed, sanity stat has been decreased by 20%!" "Sanity stat is too low, you are unable to contain the blood moon blessing!" "Starting forceful transformation!" "WHAT?! I'm a human! What transformation?!" "You are overwhelmed with bloodlust!" ----- Join my discord: https://discord.gg/cg6a5sBkpJ Support me here: https://ko-fi.com/mrboogey13 ----- I do not own the cover of the book, if you made it and want to take it down just say so and I will immediately change it.

Mrboogey13 · Fantasy
3.9
1443 Chs