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The_Dao
The_DaoLv122yr
2022-10-21 22:28

Hello to all that read this, I believe it is an amazing fan fiction of adventure time I do recommend those that see this to read it if you haven't already you won't regret it and if you do something is wrong. Now author thankyou for this fan fiction it is truly magnificent, I do hope to see this finished and not dropped, I looked forward to more chapters, hopefully I don't have to wait long for each chapter as I read way to fast.

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Dagon_vcg
Dagon_vcgAuthor

hahaha thanks, I recommend reading slowly since sometimes I put small references to the original series

The_Dao
The_DaoLv12

when I find books really good I tend to read way to fast its a terrible habit, I'm going to have to rewatch adventure time now because I forgot out some of the things you mentioned, you should make a discord to help with readers keep up when updates and all the stuff come out or even talk about the original show

Dagon_vcg:hahaha thanks, I recommend reading slowly since sometimes I put small references to the original series
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Capybarian
CapybarianLv3

This fanfic idea had so much potential, that if written properly, I'm sure that it would be in my top 5 fanfics on this platform. Unfortunately, it has many issues acting as a barrier to its full potential. For most of the fanfic, instead of being immersed in a story of adventure, I felt like I was instead reading a journal of the main character. It doesn't help that for a lot of the chapters, especially in the beginning, the main character breaks the immersion with his summaries of what has happened. There is also the lack of descriptions of the environment, which is something most stories need to give the readers a good idea of what the surroundings of the characters are. I really advise the author to learn and apply the phrase "Show, don't tell." as it is a good way to improve your fanfic immensely. There was also the lack of capitalization and ending punctuations in many of the sentences. Aside from that, the grammar and spelling are fine. Though the sentences did read like I was going through a grade-schooler's work, but that can be attributed to the author not being fluent in english. As for the secondary characters and the main character himself... They're lacking, in my opinion. The mc just goes with the flow, and we don't really see him have meaningful dialogue with other characters that much. And the author doesn't really put in that much effort in developing him. I unfortunately will not continue to read this story. But if you've read my review, disagree, and continue reading yourself, that's fine. Everyone has their own standards and tastes. This fanfic just doesn't correspond with mine.

DaoistoUzZBO
DaoistoUzZBOLv3
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