This fanfic idea had so much potential, that if written properly, I'm sure that it would be in my top 5 fanfics on this platform. Unfortunately, it has many issues acting as a barrier to its full potential. For most of the fanfic, instead of being immersed in a story of adventure, I felt like I was instead reading a journal of the main character. It doesn't help that for a lot of the chapters, especially in the beginning, the main character breaks the immersion with his summaries of what has happened. There is also the lack of descriptions of the environment, which is something most stories need to give the readers a good idea of what the surroundings of the characters are. I really advise the author to learn and apply the phrase "Show, don't tell." as it is a good way to improve your fanfic immensely. There was also the lack of capitalization and ending punctuations in many of the sentences. Aside from that, the grammar and spelling are fine. Though the sentences did read like I was going through a grade-schooler's work, but that can be attributed to the author not being fluent in english. As for the secondary characters and the main character himself... They're lacking, in my opinion. The mc just goes with the flow, and we don't really see him have meaningful dialogue with other characters that much. And the author doesn't really put in that much effort in developing him. I unfortunately will not continue to read this story. But if you've read my review, disagree, and continue reading yourself, that's fine. Everyone has their own standards and tastes. This fanfic just doesn't correspond with mine.
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Thank you very much for pointing out these errors. I am going to take them into account in order to improve the reading experience, because this is my first novel written 100% by me. And my English is self-taught so it's hard for me to translate it sometimes If you have any other advice to improve this novel, do not hesitate to comment.
No problem. It's always nice to see an author who strives to improve from criticism. I was planning on checking this fanfic out again in the future to see if it improves, but I'll try and see if I can point out any recent issues I find and comment them. Good luck on your writing journey :D
