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Alex_167
Alex_167Lv47mth
2024-04-26 11:29

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Other Reviews
Mr0Rabbit
Mr0RabbitLv14
Maxfun3
Maxfun3Lv14

I’m at chapter 25. I’m not sure about update stability so I won’t talk about it. I think the writing quality is good but it needs some more work. I think it needs more filler for character interactions. I think that was one of the reasons some of the relationships he delveloped in between those time skips feel forced. Like what conversations did the mc have that made him accept Laura and the others as family so fast or what was talked about that he forgave one of the love interests so easily. It’s not being “edgy” to not easily forgive someone for trying to kill you. Without showing us these moments it kinda makes it feel like the same thing that happened in Naruto and Dragon Ball Z. With a few exceptions. If you write another story I suggest you go more slowly and less consistently of time skips. I know it’s boring but it makes the story more cohesive in the long run. Especially if you’re writing romance. I think the story development is great. Unlike other stories you made me care about the MC to the point where I get slightly upset at I think stupid things happened to him because I don’t want him to have survival guilt like I gained. For instance chapter 24. Even if it have some things I don’t like, you kept me on my toes. Looking back I mixed up some things and combined them with different stuff I rated. You haven’t really explored the world yet so I can’t really rate it. All in all good job just put more character interactions and less time skips for future projects if you want more of cohesive story.

MimicReads
MimicReadsLv14
Zetamalfa
ZetamalfaLv3
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