No problems with writing, the story development is good as well on a broader perspective but the pacing is bad, this feels like if you drop this novel, you'll never think of picking it up again. The character design is meh, the MC is really bland compared to what's promised in the synopsis. The updates are slow. World Background is mostly asspulls. I get the original reference of MC's powers but the connection is just way too farfetched.
Liked by 7 people
LIKE
Heya, thanks for reading! The synopsis is meant to describe him in his past life, and it's somewhat accurate. Him regretting the path he took just before his death and looking to improve himself in his second life is why he's different. Do you have any suggestions for improving the pacing and world building tho? Or maybe at least point out the parts that stick out the worst :))
Most fanfics would bait readers to keep readers through plot or power ups. In which you put yourself on a deadend early on since MC became too powerful with Senjutsu since birth. Most side characters also owe MC their life, so exploring this further could be really awkward. The MC's big reveal from being mysterious is also a No-Go since it's more detrimental to MC. Like I said, there's no glaring flaws in your novel, the power scaling is just not meant to drag your novel longer.
Hmm, fair enough, he did become pretty powerful pretty fast. Tho he's still not the strongest the fact that he's not that far from it does feel a bit fast. Some side characters are indeed indebted to him, tho that mostly applies to allies or ppl within his org. People like Hiruzen, the Uzumaki clan, etc aren't really indebted to him. As for the reveal, it will become really obvious why the MC decided to do so, I didn't outright state the full scope of his plans, but it's mainly to further those(which has been mentioned) Anyhow, thanks for giving my story the time of day and for enjoying it enough to give it this much thought!
It's actually his ability to adapt that is broken. Kinda reminds me of the Xmen character Darwin. P.S. you're welcome. Thanks for writing this book as well.
