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Zakino
ZakinoLv142yr
2022-12-05 05:18

Nothing really stands out about this, despite MC actions in the events of Avengers, He never changes anything. He is talked like he is some strong Guy, yet he get blasted by virtually anyone. Then there is that useless OC 'arc', its there just for saké for MC to lose horribly and then, for some reason, being trained by his enemy (and to find his love interest, for whatever reason). Author says he wants development, yet MC had a year after seeing his shortcomings and do absolutely nothing about it. MC MC is supposed to be sayain-viltrumite hybrid, yet for the plot, He doesnt get stronger with fights and has to be trained by before mentioned love interest...

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SixPathSage
SixPathSageLv14
Woshi
WoshiLv5

Writing Quality 3/5: There were noticeable grammatical errors every so often that I would notice and the paragraphing does get too big most of the time but otherwise the writing quality is good. You are finding your voice and style of writing which is good. Stability of updates 5/5: Updates daily, consistent so far 👍 Story development 3/5: Up until the seventh/eight chapter it's followed the MCU canon (up till avengers) with the MC taking the places of characters in key moments. i.e. beating up Loki, bring the nuke up, fighting thor, etc. Though after the eight chapter the author has been deviating from canon to introduce the OC. If the story continues longer then story development would most likely be a four. Character design 3/5: The main character is the antagonist of superhero horror film Brightburn post movie I presume? (Haven't watched Brightburn). He's a man coming to terms with what he's done and lost and has chosen solitude in hopes for events to never repeat. He gets dragged into another mess years after the massacre where he comes into conflict with his biological instinct and his past. Overall pretty good with how the character progresses in the story. My only gripe is the fact that despite there being characters that could help him find closure with what he's done, a romantic female lead (OC) is introduced. The OC is a crazy battle maniac who is introduced as a blood thirsty person who has no qualms with killing. This OC is then set up to be MCs mentor and helper. Wonder how that's going to turn out, but good luck. World Background 5/5: Simply for the fact that despite there not being a lot of lore on Brightburn, the author has taken the effort to try and build it from the groundup which I can respect. Good on you. Another thing I have to address is don't be too mean to the author and his story or he'll get angry and start deleting your comments :P. Being a new author doesn't give you an imaginary shield to other peoples opinions/criticisms, no matter how stupid they sound.

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