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Eldritch_Umbra
Eldritch_UmbraLv12yr
2022-07-08 20:52

This is pretty good. The writing quality is much better than your previous works, My complaints will once again be with how you chose to present the story, that being sentence by sentence. It makes for a choppy reading flow, and doesn't look very good. Word choice and grammar once again need to be improved upon.

Removed 之后.....

Vks_sh
4.5
17 Chs

Liked by 1 people

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Replies1
Vks_sh
Vks_shAuthor

thanks for the suggestions ☺️

2yr
Other Reviews
Masaiya_Ako
Masaiya_AkoLv2

This have great potential if you polished your writing skills. I like that you know when to write expositions but your story telling was a bit scuffed as the flow of events are sometimes rushed. Another thing to mention, it's best you form a habit of capitalizing the first letter of the names of your characters to make it more presentable. Flaws aside, I like the way how you did the world building and character behavior as you have a potential to be a great world building writer. All in all it was a good read!

2yr

Rin_Nurnia
Rin_NurniaLv4

The first chapter give off mysterious vibe because both MC and me as reader, have no clue what's actually going on but one thing I'm going to point out is that you must be mistaken 'sweat' for 'sweet voice'. It's alright, we can learn from mistakes and I'm sure you will improve one day. Don't give up👍🏻

2yr
GoldenLineage
GoldenLineageLv14

An interesting story written from a different perspective. There are only 3 chapters, but the protagonist is a dragon and the content of the story gives the impression that he will fight against people in the future. There are some grammatical errors but they are not too annoying and I believe the author will improve over time. Good job.

2yr
Sam_3859
Sam_3859Lv1

The world in this isekai genre is amazing. The author pulled a great story with mc as a dragon but he is not aware of his origins. I advise you to read and enjoy the journey of mc.

2yr
Naysay3r
Naysay3rLv11

Hi. All I can say is that the story of this novel has potential. However, if you improve your writing skills, your novel could reach such a great height as you keep improving. Overall this novel is a great pick for those who likes Dragons. Cheers!

2yr
crazed4now
crazed4nowLv1

There's a bit of polishing to be done on stuff like writing style (using quotations and such), but it's got a lot of good ideas behind it. There's a real attempt at doing some show not tell, but it does feel weird that a baby dragon with an Earth-human's brain somehow knows all the animals in his new terrain already and it kinda comes off as the author trying to tell us about the world rather than the MC learning about it.

2yr
ViolettAbyss
ViolettAbyssLv14

This story has potential to be good with many possibilities to polish the plot. For now it's to early to judge if this book is good or not but so far it hasn't disappointed me. There is still room for improvement in the grammatical area. I advice you to read it

2yr
ilikesalads
ilikesaladsLv1

the character development is on point, and I really loved how you used the mc's emotions. the emotions were conveyed very well and really did touch me as a reader. loved it! keep up the good work!

2yr
Vks_sh
Vks_shAuthor

Author's worry : this my second ongoing novel and due to my personal work , for two weeks updates may be uneven and chapters may be less than expected but after my work is completed I'll update regularly so keep reading if you're enjoying this book😉👍

2yr
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