webnovel
Helia_King
Helia_KingLv49mth
2024-03-14 00:45

While I like it the grammar needs work and I have some problems with a specific chapter. 1. You need to not be so focused on one scene that you forget the world around them exists cause that part in the alleyway doesn’t make sense after a while. How can someone cause so much commotion in broad daylight and not have at least one hero check on what’s going on. There were guns and grenades being used so it doesn’t make sense. And if their main focus was getting izuku out of there so he didn’t get kidnapped then why was dogday kicking a guy in the nuts for hours. But if that was supposed to be minutes then fine but they could’ve taken that chance to run. If you decide to write a scene like this in the future you shouldn’t be so focused on it that you forget the world around them exists and that there are heroes almost everywhere especially since this was done in broad daylight.

MHA Quirk: Calling Critters

Jingle303
4.6
51 Chs

Liked by 3 people

LIKE
Replies3
Jingle303
Jingle303Author

Yeah I kinda realize this when I was reviewing some of my chapter's. Sorry I kinda forget about there world so I'l also try to keep there surrounding's in mind the next time Im writing. Thanks for the honest review.

9mth
2
Helia_King
Helia_KingLv4

Imma keep reading cause I still like it and I look forward to more chapters

Jingle303:Yeah I kinda realize this when I was reviewing some of my chapter's. Sorry I kinda forget about there world so I'l also try to keep there surrounding's in mind the next time Im writing. Thanks for the honest review.
9mth
1
JooH
JooHLv5

if you have time you could edit it, put in the title of the chapter that it was edited and give a little explanation in the next chapter.

Jingle303:Yeah I kinda realize this when I was reviewing some of my chapter's. Sorry I kinda forget about there world so I'l also try to keep there surrounding's in mind the next time Im writing. Thanks for the honest review.
9mth
1
Other Reviews
DragoCoffee
DragoCoffeeLv11

very good story, I like the concept of the smiling creatures as a summon, I would like to see if they will have their monster form in the future

9mth

XtrEEm
XtrEEmLv4

Great concept. the smiling critters being summoned is awesome and is extreme interesting quirk idea. the grammar can still be improved but overall is not really that bad. the character and story developement is great tho the time skip seems like mc put no more thought into his quirk. overall great fic cant wait for more. ps. in one chapter you asked for abillity ideas for the other critters so here is my suggestion. tho please add on to it as its barebones Each of the critters has a discription on the wiki. You could make there abilities match that. Ps you could always add on to this or not. Tho these are very barebones ——— Bobby bearhug = her abilities could be something allong the lines like healing as her discription says she his a kind and caring soul. ——— Bubba bubbaphant = he is the brains of the critters so you can have him have something like the rat that is the teacher but stronger ——— Craftycorn = she is the artistic one so something like a crafting ability maybe ——— Dogday = he is the strong and determined leader so maybe a strength and regen ability ——— Hoppy hopscotch = she is the energetic one that can’t stay still and likes to hop. So her ability could be like Jessica jones so superstrengh and speed. ——— Kickingchicken = he is the “cool kid” that doesn’t back down/when he get kicked down he gets right back up. So probably super durability and strength in his legs ——— I got no clue for pickypiggy as I mean her role in the group is to make sure that the group eats healthy. Tho in the game we learn that she might have eaten the other critters and is ver deceptive as she say let’s be friends to the player and right before she says that she is still hungry. After mentioning grilled chicken dear elephant and flayed unicorn.

9mth
WildCat_1
WildCat_1Lv4

This is one of the most interesting concepts and well written fan fic I have read in a while. Keep up the great work.

9mth
Random_Entity
Random_EntityLv4

I just wished it wasn’t just the smiling critters

9mth
iDontKnowNom2
iDontKnowNom2Lv2

Well read some chapters it's a good novel, he changes the story of the anime but in a good way. It can be better. Which one gonna be next friend of izuku?(ch 30)

8mth
kDolen
kDolenLv1

I like the story, everything is good so far. (Ch 30) i don't know what im saying but i know what im doing and i know you know what im saying...

8mth
knight_Reaper_
knight_Reaper_Lv13

An interesting story so far as well as an interesting concept. Can’t wait to see future chapters and what the critters can do in the future.

6mth
Watermelon_cat
Watermelon_catLv1

its realy good i like to see what happens next. good work author. i realy dont know anything about smiling critters But I will continue to see what happens

8mth
Watermelon_cat
Watermelon_catLv1

read it. It's a very good idea. It is recommended[img=recommend][img=update] ........................................................................................................

8mth
Related Stories

Highschool DxD: I have a Dimensional Travel System

After transmigration or perhaps reincarnation, Mahiro Toma decided to pursue a career as a light novelist. However, everything changed when he read the name of his new school on the notice board. "Wait, Kouh Academy?!" "Isn't this the school from Highschool DxD?" This is the story of a man who finds himself in the fantasy world of Highschool DxD with the unique ability to travel to various anime worlds to grow stronger. Worlds: 1. Highschool DxD 2. Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? (Danmachi) 3. Sword Art Online (SAO) 4. ... --- For advance chapter or support me: https://patreon.com/heavenlydawn https://ko-fi.com/heavenlydawn Please Note: I do not own any of the content in this fanfiction. The copyrights belong to their respective creators.

heavenlydawn_ · Anime & Comics
4.6
175 Chs

Naruto: Modern Science in Naruto

Haori, a die-hard One Piece fan, never expected to be reborn in the Naruto world. But thanks to a cosmic lottery and a super-douchey god of transmigration, he's landed in the middle of the Third Great Ninja War with a bizarre skillset: a random anime skin, an A-grade skill, and an S-grade talent. He's a heartthrob at the Leaf Ninja Academy, but he's got a scientific mind and a mission to understand the world of chakra and jutsu through the lens of modern science. Can a guy with a microscope and a healthy dose of sarcasm survive in a world of ninjas? Get ready for a hilarious and insightful journey where a guy with a love for video games and a scientific mind tries to revolutionize the shinobi world – one scientific breakthrough at a time. --------------------- (Don't mind the title its just for easier search ) ShixT9 the shitty translator's personal opinion: It's a breath of fresh air from the usual Naruto fanfics you see here in webnovel, I quite like where the story is going and I like the MC's personality too. This is just my personal opinion, hopefully you'll like it too >-

ShixT9 · Anime & Comics
4.1
105 Chs

Naruto: Drop System

Good news: I've crossed into the anime world of my dreams. Bad news: It's the Naruto world, and I'm an ordinary orphan without a bloodline limit, attending the same class as Naruto and Sasuke. Just as Yagyu was getting ready to be a minor character and trying to survive the Konoha Crush Plan, Pain's assault on Konoha, and the Fourth Great Ninja War... During a taijutsu match at the ninja academy, Yagyu defeated Naruto, who was still a dead last, and suddenly a golden light orb appeared in front of him. Defeating enemies and getting loot—turns out he has a golden finger (cheat ability) after all! No bloodline limit? No problem, as long as others have it! Not gifted in ninjutsu? No worries, as long as others know it! Can't get the loot in one try? Then tie him up and beat him every day until it drops! During the Fourth Great Ninja War, Madara, who had regained both his eyes and reached Sage of Six Paths power, looked at Yagyu in disbelief: "Why can you use Limbo too?" "It's simple, you just dropped it earlier," Yagyu said, activating his Rinnegan. --x-- This is a translated novel, and you can find the raw version by the name: 人在木叶，开局掉落阿修罗查克拉 --x-- Do you want to support our translation? Join our Patreon! patreon.com/rosewhisky

RoseWhisky · Anime & Comics
4.5
89 Chs

One Piece: Deriving All Things

Sanders has crossed into the world of One Piece, blessed with a unique ability: he can derive and master any power—Haki, Devil Fruits, combat techniques—everything can become his. To survive and grow stronger in this chaotic world, he joins the Marines, seeking structure and safety. But fate takes a dark turn when his adoptive parent is ruthlessly murdered by a Celestial Dragon. Sanders vows revenge, yet before he can act, he is captured by Sengoku and Kizaru, locked away in the depths of Impel Down. In the infamous prison, Sanders uses his power to derive new abilities from legends around him: the Moa Moa no Mi, the Fusion-Fusion Fruit, even Barrett's fearsome Haki. As years pass, Sanders grows more powerful, biding his time. Finally, he decides the moment has come—he walks out of Impel Down, shaking the world to its core. "You fought Kaido in a fierce battle; derivation time for the Azure Dragon Fruit reduced by one year." "You battled Whitebeard with all your strength; Gura Gura no Mi (Quake-Quake Fruit) successfully derived." "You clashed with Big Mom; her indomitable Steel Balloon Physique is now yours." At the Summit War, Sanders challenges the might of all three Admirals singlehandedly. Marine Headquarters: "He was once one of us; now, we regret it deeply." Boa Hancock: "I’ll stand by Sanders—let’s declare war on the Celestial Dragons!" Nico Robin: "Only he can bring me true safety." Join Sanders as he faces the mightiest forces of the One Piece world, deriving power from the strongest to fulfill his destiny. -------------- Access 30 chapters in advance on my Patreon: p@treon.com/OneFic This is a translation work; I do not own it. Raw:航海：推衍万物，顶上硬撼三大将

OneFic · Anime & Comics
4.8
90 Chs

I've Already Confronted the Five Kage, and the System Just Arrived!

Hagoromo Gensou transmigrated to the Naruto world and, through his own efforts, became a prominent figure in the ninja world. Until one day, the newly appointed Five Kage teamed up and ambushed him immorally. It was only then that the system finally appeared, claiming it could help him rise to become the strongest in the ninja world. However... Just as he was about to confront the Five Kage head-on, Gensou silently looked at the first task issued by the system. [Quest: Ninja School Comeback Initiated! Please defeat your dead-last classmate, Uzumaki Naruto.] "System, do you know what year it is now?" [Year 60 of Konoha] "Right now, it's Year 2 of Konoha! Is there something wrong with this system?!" ... Many years later, Gensou opened his eyes again, standing on the rooftop of the Chunin Exams building. Looking at the Third Hokage, who was ready for battle, he smirked slightly: "Although it's a few decades early, I finally made it." www.patreon.com/zaelum [+20 Extra Chapters!] [Raw: 火影：我都硬刚五影了，系统才来]

Zaelum · Anime & Comics
4.5
234 Chs
Login