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AlphonseDarkshield
AlphonseDarkshieldLv62yr
2022-06-13 07:41

The story is rather entertaining with suitable character development, entertaining premice, fun, a nice changing of “scenery” and a nice power scale. My only real issue is like how you started to do after a certain point in Grunts story near the end you kinda just said f natural progression and it’s affected your further works. Here you are definitely trying to put some back in because unlike the other stories he doesn’t have the cheat of Grunts full blown meta power but it feels a little too fast paced making it “feel” rushed…

Liked by 2 people

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Replies3
JManM
JManMAuthor

So are you feeling like they need more social scenes?

AlphonseDarkshield
AlphonseDarkshieldLv6

Well I kinda would have preferred he maybe had a little more interesting fights before he went top of his universe level… I just feel that he is too powerful for cinematic universes and in his own universe he’s basically towards the top already

JManM:So are you feeling like they need more social scenes?
JManM
JManMAuthor

He's got a New 52 scaled DC next. I am doing some research on it right now.

AlphonseDarkshield:Well I kinda would have preferred he maybe had a little more interesting fights before he went top of his universe level… I just feel that he is too powerful for cinematic universes and in his own universe he’s basically towards the top already
Other Reviews
JManM
JManMAuthor

I don't normally review my own stories, but I can't seem to get any reviews that provide more insight into the story than they provide insight into the preferences of the person writing it. First off, it's not my problem if you are disappointed that my writing is so high quality yet I don't write stories that caiter to your precise tastes. That right there addresses the majority of my negative reviews. Content wise, you need to read up to chapter seven to understand the character and why he does what he does. It may come as a shock, but Mark neither apologizes nor rationalizes for his actions both to himself and others. Wild take on a first person story, I know, but you can only understand the character as he acts and interacts with others. A real show don't tell situation that seems to have gone right over a lot of people's heads. And I don't mean to say that I write in such a way that is too difficult to understand for the ungifted mind, not at all. It's just some people have refused to engage enough to look at context clues and foreshadowing and this makes them very angry. One thing to note is that I do not do a great job with the world background situation. I personally don't read fics outside of fandoms I am not a part of, so I was unaware how many people do just that. As such physical descriptions of the characters and settings tend to be sparse and bland. I assumed incorrectly that anyone who didn't remember a specific character would Google him or her, but that would require people to meet me half way, and how dare I assume that people would do that. I am so silly. Last up is an important thing to note, I write with the express purpose to entertain. I think logically about the characters and setting to an almost deconstruction level, and then put my Main Characters through that world with as much good cheer as I can manage. My MC's don't complain and aren't lazy. They engage the setting in pursuit of their goals come what may.

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