Item: Hp: The Outcast
Rating: 4
Author: JSirMixalotL

JSirMixalotLLv41yr

2024-03-06 03:10

It started pretty good but when he started his music it got way too much focus and the story seemed to stagnate. It got too boring for me personally but maybe other people like 3 chapters with 80% song lyrics in it. If you ignore the music part it is a decent story with little flaws that can easily be improved upon

Hp: The Outcast

confused4you

4.2

103 Chs

Liked by 11 people

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Other Reviews

PhantonLv2

Look its kinda slow because of the distribution of content on the chapters but is also much better than the flash like speed that the first had. the thing of the change of the baseline reality (Canon) of the original was a nice touch just... in the first the relationship of the MC with Harry's sister was too much forced atleast in the first 20 chp of the original where i just stoped so dont know much about that but just make characters that have a bit of realism and dont mess up the blank characters that we have. the first was so bad at character design that i lost interest in 20 min. anyway you could expand the world more than the original harry potter it will be good. if you do that make things simple and "human" like basecally everything that made my experience less than desirable was better atleast for now all i see on this new version is a Harry potter fic with great potential and a autor with more vision and experience than the Last? Time so keep the good work i have great hope on this you so keep the good work[img=recommend]

2yr

leojesus120Lv2

I'm a fan from your previous work (The Secret Heir) so i'm looking foward to see the changes. A mysterious first chapter, hope we can have a long story ahead

2yr

Carlos_BalbizanLv1

it was even acceptable, but it went to the bottom the moment he had his first interaction with Victoria Potter, with the story getting boring and weird... it's just confusing and boring

2yr

Redact4792Lv14

Maybe copy the description of your old fanfic , all we get from your description is that you don’t write well

4mth

night_king01010Lv4

are u still updating this novel???______

12mth

septimus_sonLv4

The Story is good, the writing is fabulous, but Cotton 🐍 is just perfect

1yr

user56477765OTVLv3

nice fjjfifjfiriririr8jtjfitit8rhjrjrk o.o 3738u rd 7fufuhfucurifuufufuf

1yr

Asura_Of_GluttonyLv14

Nice

2yr

nigemcplebagenLv14

Lets keep this simple. Fun read. Good story. Me likey.

1yr

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