First of all this fanfiction is good. Now somethings that 'I' think could have been better, 1. Mc's emotions, really, he was crying, panicking and distributed when he first arrived at pokemon world, but suddenly he became normal. Even when talking to Professor Sam, he was not panicking because of what just happened, felt like mc is emotionless when it comes to these dangerous situations, it was his first time being attacked by a high level pokemon (as a normal earth guy). 2. Legendary pokemon fighting was a point where I can see many people leaving, like I know this fiction is good, but if you read futher chapters, then you can ignore that part. I just skipped all that. 3. Now the main thing, everyone not being suspicious is a big problem, like I know prof. Sam doesn't have to be suspicious of mc, but mc not being cautious even after getting knocked out just as they arrived at the camp was really weird part for me in that chapter. Mc doesn't even know if prof. Sam is good or bad guy in that world, how can he believe him. 4. If rather than just giving the ranks, all that red, puple stats. information in an auxiliary chapter, it should have been better if mc could get it himself, like getting it from pokemon center or someone telling him. So, basically problem lies in the way mc react or how he knows all that thing about potential and all, other than that its more or less good fiction. So, that was my opinion and other than that later chaters are getting better. Oh, and don't take this comment offensively if I ised some words in a wrong way, I was just giving opinion from my side.
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LIKEOh, and about oak doesn't have to be suspicious of mc is because mc is weak. So, he really don't have to be suspicious of a weak guy when he can kill him in seconds if something happens.
First l, thank you for taking the time to read my story and review it. I’m always appreciative of people’s opinions and their criticisms. To address your first point, I thought I was doing a fairly good job at portraying his emotions, he was scared, panicked, and worried that he was going to die, both at destroyed village and again when he was chased by T-tar. I may have glossed over some stuff in exposition, such as Isaac being wary of Sam, but that’s only until he finds out his identity. Honestly, mythical and legendary Pokémon have been at the center of pretty much every movie and was even seen at the start of the anime. That was what it was a call to. They’re not going to be prevalent in the story, but they will be part of the focal. Their inclusion in the beginning could have been expanded upon further or postponed until later. I concede your point wholeheartedly. Correct Sam was an undefeated Champion and the only reason he is no longer Champion is because he didn’t want to be and stepped down. He had nothing to fear from pretty much anyone on the planet. Isaac was wary and suspicious and has kept pretty much the whole truth to himself. He’s lied about where he’s from, who he is, and how he’s arrived. Lastly, he doesn’t know that information yet. That information is only known to the reader but Isaac himself even stated his confusion when he first inspected Ava. He will learn about it eventually but he’s only working with the knowledge he had about pokémon in his old world, abilities typing etc. I hope this helps you understand my thought processes better and once again thank you for reading and reviewing my novel!
