webnovel
Daoist_Paradox
Daoist_ParadoxLv42yr
2022-11-11 21:16

The core idea of the novel is very interesting. A mentally challenged prince son of a powerful Emperor has been abandoned, but has a saving grace in the form of five wives with various backgrounds and talents. It has all the things needed for a successful commercial web novel. Unfortunately, since this is a solo project, without any editors or prompt feedback, the entire story is full of deficiencies. 01. Grammer. This is the least serious deficiency of this novel, and it could've been easily solved had the author utilized any writing tool. For instance, Grammerly or even Google Docs. 02. Conflict between cheats. The MC has two cheats. He has been trained by various goddesses, and he also has a system. Introducing both of these cheats have made the whole 'cheat system' feel conflicted and confusing. Any one of them should've been enough. 03. Confusing character behavior. For me the last straw on the hat was the scene where the MC asks Riya for an instructor to teach him. This doesn't make sense since he has already been taught by the goddesses, who are at the top of the world. 04. Too much cheat. The background setting for the MC is very well-written and extremely interesting. However, after explaining the MC's background, we are introduced to how the MC dies and meets the goddesses. I feel like the goddess part was too much of a cheat... That's just too high of a setting! Also, the wives being the daughters of the goddess was just too much of a cheat. This is a kinda controversial point, since some readers might be okay with it, while others like me might feel it's too much. Despite all these faults, at its core this story is a solid one, a rough diamond. What it needs at this moment is a rewrite as well as a good editor. I'd recommend you give it a shot.

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Mohitkumar
MohitkumarAuthor

I know my book had too many flaws and I am even grateful that you took a look. I agree with your points but I wanted to say about points 1 and point 2. About docs, I am using docs and Grammarly but the reason for most of the deficiencies is cause I write on the smartphone. And if you know the experience of typing on old outdated smartphones of 4-5 years, you might know. If I take half an hour to edit or brush up, things might change but writing already takes four hours or so and I do proofread but sometimes, you can't find errors yourself. About 2nd point, I think you are misunderstanding something, it was written in that chapter or the next that he asked for the instructor to know about the instructor's levels and skills and not for the teacher. And yeah I agree with the cheat thing but it's not as if everything was given to him to be readymade as he literally bath in sweat to get to that level which again sealed. In the advance, there was also a hint that there were many others who were trained by them but their souls weren't able to sustain all that. All in all thanks for the review as you take your time to write it instead of giving it a 1 star without a word.

Other Reviews
Mohitkumar
MohitkumarAuthor

Hello to all the readers who decided to stop by and gave my book a look. I am thankful for all the support and blessings of the reader who decided to spend time on my book. With this review, I wanted to point out some things. 1. As you saw in the title, it will be a harem and the mc will have five wives I will assure you that there will be no more addition. It will begin with five and end with five wives. 2. Some readers may find that interaction is quite less between mc and his wives and some feel that it had been late since mc wives are introduced. So, I wanted to tell you that Mc wives will be introduced one by one slowly. It was done so that Mc can grow up and before meeting his wives, he can at least have some achievements and strength. I don't want to write a story where mc runs after chasing girls where girls run after mc thinking he is so cool and wonderful and every hundred chapters another female lead is introduced which is making the story with harem quite bad. So, even if you dislike harem, I ask you to give you a try and judge with your own eyes how different the story is from other typical harem. 3.By the time, I write this review it hadn't been 6 months since I stated as an author.Reader may find some grammatical mistakes. Since I am not a native English person and I write on an old smartphone which hangs a lot while typing so I ask you to pardon me on that. But I will assure you that the story would be readable unlike my first books whose beginning grammar was quite bad.Even mtl trash grammar is better than my other book beginning. That's for all know and I hope you like it and support my WSA work.

FloShizu
FloShizuLv14

This is for you author, since one can have a good discussion with you without getting heated up even if one attacks your book, so i decided to make a more in depth review and while many points still stand I removed the points where I out of my own preferences was a little unfair. Writing Quality: 3/5 It's MTL, so don't expect anything amazing. Especially in the earlier chapters, there are many issues like wrong pronouns, wrong sentence structures or swapped roles in a sentence and so on. But I have seen a lot worse and it is enjoyable if you like the story itself. I think just by going through the older chapters and looking at the comments where a helpful reader already wrote the correct version and then correct it, would make it a 4/5 for new readers. Stability of Updates: 4/5 Not much to say. Coming from royalroad 14 chapters a week is inconceivable and impressive. I always imagine that the quality suffers, so I don't like this way very much and would like to see quality over quantity like on royalroad. But I know that people on this site probably see it differently. Story Development: 3/5 The problem I have with the story is that I like to see the way the MC has to go in order to become strong or even the strongest, but instead it was only said that he had a training arc with the goddesses, but it was skipped and instead he slowly unlocks the abilities he learned from them through the system. So the reader just sees a list of (yet locked/lvl 0) active and passive skills the MC gets at the beginning of the story and that makes them seem less special and deserved (even if they are). Another thing I dislike is that the story skips around too much, so there is not enough time for proper kingdom/world building, character development, forming of relationships and so on. This makes everything seem less deep and lack substance. But I think the plot itself has potential. It just needs refining. Character Design 3/5 Like I said, everything lacks substance and so do the characters and the relationship they have with the MC. I have only seen the first three wives and I can already tell that they are very cliche and the others sound to be the same. The same goes for the MC, since he is just like MC in most novels. Person with sad past gets reincarnated and becomes powerful, so he can now beat up the bad guys. And this brings up another point of criticism. Sad pasts. It has become the standard in newer novels and I don't like to see it in every book, especially if every important character gets one. MC has one and both wives he met up until now have one as well, so I would prefer if its not the same for the other wives as well. But I like that he can be ruthless if he has a reason. World Background 3/5 The quality and the amount we get is comparable to other web novels on this site and I feel like, as always, it is lacking and I would love to see more detailed worlds like in normal fantasy books, but that's just my preference and maybe people like to read more simple books on this site. I think the best thing the author can do for this book and the next is to slow down with releases, instead of two a day, maybe just write one and instead read proof, take your time to write and rewrite until you got some good quality chapters, instead of just throwing out chapters for the sake of it. Maybe check out different translators and grammar checks and go with the best you can find. I think you can do a lot better if you just take your time and you end up with a shorter/slower released but nice quality book. Instead of being a good author, try to be a very good one. I think you can do it.

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