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ForceRecon
ForceReconLv12yr
2022-07-07 22:40

NOTE TO AUTHOR ON SYNOPSIS: I came from your last novel wondering why there were no updates. I haven't read this yet but as with the last novel I corrected your synopsis. You only used the draft version of my corrections in the previous novel and never saw the final copy which was a shame but it doesn't matter, I made this correction the final draft for this. Few things to be noted. It sounds really strange that you don't identify the MCs name, it makes it awkward, especially the first sentence, it's normal to transition to "he" after a name has been introduced but without a name, it's a bit strange. It's like introducing abbreviations and acronyms, you don't introduce a concept like RAID to those who wouldn't know what it is. Instead you would say Redundant Array of Independent Disks (RAID) and continue along with RAID. Similar concept. Only the first "his" really needs to be changed. Again, I haven't read this yet so it should be: "In Billy's first life", "In Joes' first life" and then you can naturally transition to he/him, etc But this is just my opinion, you don't need to use any of it, obviously \\\\\\\\\\\SYNOPSIS BELOW\\\\\\\\\\\\ In his first life, losing the one he loved most, he fell into depression, as grief overshadowed his life and death knocked on his door. He thought that he would finally be free from the nightmare but his life was far from over. He was reborn again. In his second life, he was reborn as the youngest prince of the strongest empire and born with a silver spoon. He was married to five beautiful goddesses. His first wife was the Empress of the neighboring kingdom. His second wife was the Saintess of the Church. His third wife was the daughter of the wealthiest merchant group. His fourth wife is the Goddess of War on the battlefield. His fifth wife was an assassin known as the Shadow Queen, who had been raised as his caretaker. But who was he? He was just an imbecile, an idiot, a disgusting fat pig who was ostracized and spat upon by society. Unable to tolerate his son, the Emperor cut him off from his family tree, stripping his title as Prince and banished him to a small vassal state for the rest of his life. The Vassal State which was in disarray and had been usurped by the nobles was on verge of destruction. Until one day lightning struck him, and pulled by the mysterious strings of fate, his soul ended up in The Sanctum of Goddess. And from there, his myth begins...

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ForceRecon
ForceReconLv1

I guess the last line could also be modified, it's a bit weird. The Sanctum of Goddess sounds very wrong, it would be more natural to say the Sanctum of The Goddess (assuming her title is The Goddess) so either the Sanctum of the Goddess or the Sanctum of The Goddess or if there are multiple Goddess, then the Sanctum of Goddesses

ForceRecon
ForceReconLv1

I don't know if can edit titles anymore but it should also be "The Imbecile Lord is Married to Five Beautiful Goddesses", plural goddess, lowercase is.

Mohitkumar
MohitkumarAuthor

Thanks for the help man. First thing, my exam is going on and after it, there is going to run for joining the university and many other things as you know what students after college do, so I am not writing anything and my mother is had even ceased my phone. My new novel had a stockpile which I have been preparing since March as you might know WSA is a very big thing for an author. The Extra Survival will resume from August 1. Even the posting of the chapter is done by a friend of mine whom I have given the account. Now about the draft, I remember correcting it two times as you have sent the synopsis and I haven't seen the third one which I might have missed. I get 60-70 comments of which 5-6 would be useful rest are just curses so I have stopped looking for comments for a while due to which I might have missed the final correction. Like I have made an announcement and added a chapter saying that I didn't drop the novel and my exams are going on but people without reading it are spamming in the chapter box which is unbearable. And about the title, it can't be changed once set and I didn't mistake rather I felt bad taste when pronouncing Goddesses. Still, thanks for the help man, and I promise I will change this synopsis and try to find the other one when my exams are over. Until then, if you like The Extra Survival, please note that it is not dropped.

ForceRecon
ForceReconLv1

Ah, I see, I understand, do what you have to do, real life takes priority. If you want the final draft I believe I posted it in a review in the previous novel. And I can imagine you get many useless comments so I'm not surprised, just figured I would stop by and help a bit since I had time.

Mohitkumar:Thanks for the help man. First thing, my exam is going on and after it, there is going to run for joining the university and many other things as you know what students after college do, so I am not writing anything and my mother is had even ceased my phone. My new novel had a stockpile which I have been preparing since March as you might know WSA is a very big thing for an author. The Extra Survival will resume from August 1. Even the posting of the chapter is done by a friend of mine whom I have given the account. Now about the draft, I remember correcting it two times as you have sent the synopsis and I haven't seen the third one which I might have missed. I get 60-70 comments of which 5-6 would be useful rest are just curses so I have stopped looking for comments for a while due to which I might have missed the final correction. Like I have made an announcement and added a chapter saying that I didn't drop the novel and my exams are going on but people without reading it are spamming in the chapter box which is unbearable. And about the title, it can't be changed once set and I didn't mistake rather I felt bad taste when pronouncing Goddesses. Still, thanks for the help man, and I promise I will change this synopsis and try to find the other one when my exams are over. Until then, if you like The Extra Survival, please note that it is not dropped.
KingKarma_1766
KingKarma_1766Lv4

him being a said as fat pig holds me back alot from reading this. cause it said this was his second life but instead of working hard he became a fat pig he only changed after getting a system which I dont think be deserves.

Other Reviews
Mohitkumar
MohitkumarAuthor

Hello to all the readers who decided to stop by and gave my book a look. I am thankful for all the support and blessings of the reader who decided to spend time on my book. With this review, I wanted to point out some things. 1. As you saw in the title, it will be a harem and the mc will have five wives I will assure you that there will be no more addition. It will begin with five and end with five wives. 2. Some readers may find that interaction is quite less between mc and his wives and some feel that it had been late since mc wives are introduced. So, I wanted to tell you that Mc wives will be introduced one by one slowly. It was done so that Mc can grow up and before meeting his wives, he can at least have some achievements and strength. I don't want to write a story where mc runs after chasing girls where girls run after mc thinking he is so cool and wonderful and every hundred chapters another female lead is introduced which is making the story with harem quite bad. So, even if you dislike harem, I ask you to give you a try and judge with your own eyes how different the story is from other typical harem. 3.By the time, I write this review it hadn't been 6 months since I stated as an author.Reader may find some grammatical mistakes. Since I am not a native English person and I write on an old smartphone which hangs a lot while typing so I ask you to pardon me on that. But I will assure you that the story would be readable unlike my first books whose beginning grammar was quite bad.Even mtl trash grammar is better than my other book beginning. That's for all know and I hope you like it and support my WSA work.

FloShizu
FloShizuLv14

This is for you author, since one can have a good discussion with you without getting heated up even if one attacks your book, so i decided to make a more in depth review and while many points still stand I removed the points where I out of my own preferences was a little unfair. Writing Quality: 3/5 It's MTL, so don't expect anything amazing. Especially in the earlier chapters, there are many issues like wrong pronouns, wrong sentence structures or swapped roles in a sentence and so on. But I have seen a lot worse and it is enjoyable if you like the story itself. I think just by going through the older chapters and looking at the comments where a helpful reader already wrote the correct version and then correct it, would make it a 4/5 for new readers. Stability of Updates: 4/5 Not much to say. Coming from royalroad 14 chapters a week is inconceivable and impressive. I always imagine that the quality suffers, so I don't like this way very much and would like to see quality over quantity like on royalroad. But I know that people on this site probably see it differently. Story Development: 3/5 The problem I have with the story is that I like to see the way the MC has to go in order to become strong or even the strongest, but instead it was only said that he had a training arc with the goddesses, but it was skipped and instead he slowly unlocks the abilities he learned from them through the system. So the reader just sees a list of (yet locked/lvl 0) active and passive skills the MC gets at the beginning of the story and that makes them seem less special and deserved (even if they are). Another thing I dislike is that the story skips around too much, so there is not enough time for proper kingdom/world building, character development, forming of relationships and so on. This makes everything seem less deep and lack substance. But I think the plot itself has potential. It just needs refining. Character Design 3/5 Like I said, everything lacks substance and so do the characters and the relationship they have with the MC. I have only seen the first three wives and I can already tell that they are very cliche and the others sound to be the same. The same goes for the MC, since he is just like MC in most novels. Person with sad past gets reincarnated and becomes powerful, so he can now beat up the bad guys. And this brings up another point of criticism. Sad pasts. It has become the standard in newer novels and I don't like to see it in every book, especially if every important character gets one. MC has one and both wives he met up until now have one as well, so I would prefer if its not the same for the other wives as well. But I like that he can be ruthless if he has a reason. World Background 3/5 The quality and the amount we get is comparable to other web novels on this site and I feel like, as always, it is lacking and I would love to see more detailed worlds like in normal fantasy books, but that's just my preference and maybe people like to read more simple books on this site. I think the best thing the author can do for this book and the next is to slow down with releases, instead of two a day, maybe just write one and instead read proof, take your time to write and rewrite until you got some good quality chapters, instead of just throwing out chapters for the sake of it. Maybe check out different translators and grammar checks and go with the best you can find. I think you can do a lot better if you just take your time and you end up with a shorter/slower released but nice quality book. Instead of being a good author, try to be a very good one. I think you can do it.

Daoist_Paradox
Daoist_ParadoxLv4
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