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BlackSwordman1234
BlackSwordman1234Author2yr
2022-04-30 06:02

This FF was the first one I ever wrote and I feel that I have really done it justice with the new rewrite..................................................

Liked by 9 people

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Replies11
ErenUmbra
ErenUmbraLv14

You have it is amazing

Daybreak_6987
Daybreak_6987Lv14

It is a lot better feels more like a 4 to 5 star main character now as he’s been given a better start. I also like how the Primordial concept/deity of death is his mother this time should be interesting.

BlackSwordman1234
BlackSwordman1234Author

Even in the last on he was still made from her soul. Just the relaxation ship between them was maater and servant. Thought it be better to have them more related.

Daybreak_6987:It is a lot better feels more like a 4 to 5 star main character now as he’s been given a better start. I also like how the Primordial concept/deity of death is his mother this time should be interesting.
killersoul
killersoulLv13

ah so he's not a servant now?? cause that actually threw me off a bit last time he didn't really seem like a character to listen to others after all

BlackSwordman1234:Even in the last on he was still made from her soul. Just the relaxation ship between them was maater and servant. Thought it be better to have them more related.
BlackSwordman1234
BlackSwordman1234Author

What choice did he have? She is gave him his second life and can always take it away. He knew that fact and she was doing things for his sake.

killersoul:ah so he's not a servant now?? cause that actually threw me off a bit last time he didn't really seem like a character to listen to others after all
killersoul
killersoulLv13

mm I wasn't saying it was bad just felt it didn't fit his character that came of like he'd do whatever he saw fit still a good book thou

BlackSwordman1234:What choice did he have? She is gave him his second life and can always take it away. He knew that fact and she was doing things for his sake.
killersoul
killersoulLv13

you know I'm reading this version now and while it's indeed better idea wise I honestly think your grammar on the original was much better from what I remember and well I also wanted to mention pretty much all the mistakes I've been reading could be fixed if you used grammarly or some equivalent

BlackSwordman1234
BlackSwordman1234Author

I do use it. If anything, my grammer is better than before. That will always stick with me and it’s not that bad.

killersoul:you know I'm reading this version now and while it's indeed better idea wise I honestly think your grammar on the original was much better from what I remember and well I also wanted to mention pretty much all the mistakes I've been reading could be fixed if you used grammarly or some equivalent
killersoul
killersoulLv13

no it's actually better than most on this site just a couple words here and there misspelled is all and really?? meh if you say so it has been a long time since I read the old one so I'll take your word for it

BlackSwordman1234:I do use it. If anything, my grammer is better than before. That will always stick with me and it’s not that bad.
Isak_Svartrapmo
Isak_SvartrapmoLv4

update please

Cursed_one
Cursed_oneLv12

hey author, when r u gonna release the rewritten version?

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