B_SpiralLv142yr

2022-07-17 06:50

This review is taking into account everything up to chapter 100. Spoilers will be included, and this may be a little long so I can explain myself with nuance. This story as a whole so far is somewhat average, but has some good setups that can easily shoot it's quality up above other novels on the site with a little reflection. The story's handling of species discrimination, the MC's inherent circumstances by birth, and the resulting precautions taken to protect her set a nice tone for the world the MC finds herself in. The entire arc before the MC sets out from home is fairly strong in my opinion. I'd suggest any potential readers hang on till that point to see if the story is for you. -Writing quality and character design is solid besides things I mentio in spoilers below. -World background and story development are limited for now as the story is still taking off. So these will improve over time. -Updating stability also seems solid to me. SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT----------------- After this point is where I'd say I could see areas for improvement. The biggest issue I see is with "balancing" the character's personalities. It becomes very noticable that characters are very binary in their personalities. Some examples: People either like demihumans or absolutely despise them. Soldiers and their commanding officers are either very competent or worthless on the battlefield. People either LOVE or HATE the MC. And whatever binary opinion they have not only tends to be intense, but also immediate. For example, the characters that fall in love with the MC all do so on first contact and make it fairly obvious. They'll then go far out of their way for her, taking her side on every issue without caution or repremanding her for things she could have handled better, or turning on nobility that were their friends beforehand because of some slight towards the MC. Characters that dislike the MC also come out of the gate with beef, usually with a disgusted facial expression, and cannot wait to make themselves a speed bump for the MC asap. Focusing on adding nuace to characters such as indifference, indecisiveness, naivety, indirectness, tunnel vision towards their individual goal, having slight opinions that can be changed over time, having the intensity of feelings/opinions grow over time, and many more aspects of individuality can go a LONG way in improving the depth of the characters in this story, making them more interesting, giving them more room for character development, and creating more opportunities for the author to create more unique hurdles for the cast to overcome as they interact with one another, as well as the the tactics they employ to overcome those hurdles. As a side effect, it can also help avoid the "self-insert" feeling that everything in the plot solely revolves around the MC that I read in other comments, as other characters will have their own things going on rather than interacting with the MC. Something else I noticed was the weird interactions that started popping up between men and women in the novel. It seems there is a sort of "barrier" that emerged especially when interacting with the MC. For instance the different treatments of the prince and princess. Both came on to the MC pretty hard on the first meeting (refer back to the previous paragraph about sudden, intense emotions or opinions towards MC) but, arguably, the princess FAR oversteps her brother in terms of pushiness, overstepping personal space, and "quirkiness" such as wiping saliva from MC then licking it in front of her... 😀, but this was, admittedly, sort of waved off among other things due to her similarities with MC's past friend. Now, whatever romance or character quirkiness the author intends to add to the story... is 100% all right! It gives that character uniqueness to others in the plot, HOWEVER, it becomes weird when other males overstep much less, yet get reproached at the beginning; the MC has made it VERY clear that she is annoyed by and wants nothing to do with any of the boys who have approached her with this intent. This would be fine, if the MC had any backstory of having issues with men, such as another character in the story, but it seems like the only issue was her friend trying to push her into having a relationship. This makes it appear something else is going on and invokes the quote: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks". Long story short, be careful with this, as it divides the cast's interactions and limits the roles characters can perform. Males tend to show up as hurdles, villains, or a useful set of hands and females ALL become love interests. IIRC the only males the MC likes are her brother and father, while the only females she DOESN'T like are a few villagers and noble girls that disliked her for her race. With respect to the MC specifically, I would say she could use more attention to her draconic characteristics as this is a main point of the story. We've got the attraction to shiny stuff and the appearance, but it seems she doesn't focus much on her tail and wings besides cleaning them or wearing clothes. She doesn't fly around too much or use her tail a lot as an extra limb for fighting or other things. Don't get me wrong, SHE HAS, but I feel there could be more attention to her dragon and "other half" of her blood's traits AND WEAKNESSES, especially if she's going to keep evolving. The story seems to focus on just the fact that she's a demihumans and not a dragon (+other). And then how will her unique race affect other dragon (+other) hierarchies? But that's all just an opinion. Anything else I'd caution about are things I'd warn anyone writing an Isekai: -the story needs a "big bad" that will keep pressure on the story to keep moving and the characters to keep growing or else the plot will slow down into solely slime of life and lose aspects of other things it has going for it. -the story has a large focus on racial tensions, so there's gotta be a history written about why they formed and eventually a giant conflict about it. -MC is developing an "I gotta do it all" attitude. She's got the raw fighting power, magical power and interest in magic research, acting, business and inventing merchandise, commanding armies because it's fun, and I think she mentioned traveling the word, but I don't know how she'll do that if she's tied to the country as a knight. There are only so many areas a character can divide their time between before it starts straining the story. Hopefully I'm not overstepping with all of this, but I think these are some ways the story can improve further. But some things mentioned here might have already been resolved in the chapters after 100 as well. Wishing the author the best, if anything, hopefully my rambling gives them some good ideas, ESPECIALLY if they bothered reading all this! Thanks for your time!

Reborn: I'm A Dragon Girl With An OP System

invayne

4.6

471 Chs