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Salmon_El_Solomon
Salmon_El_SolomonLv31yr
2023-01-17 15:00

My goal is not to insult anyone, it is my opinion and criticism of the novel. Although the story starts well, the mc's cold personality is well designed and his interaction with the characters is good, the more you go into his "cold" personality he feels more like someone with autism or mental retardation, it is extremely irritating. The worst thing is that he is sorry all the time about the past and does not say or do anything for the people who loved him, but then he shows you a scene of an aphofis sad about the mc's past, kind and helping him, who was with him all the time. time he, being rejected and treated coldly... Instead of someone with depression and sadness experienced from someone with 250 years to live, like I said before, he looks like someone with a severe case of autism. I know someone with high depression, he has already attempted suicide 27 times, his wife and children died in an accident, he was the only one who survived, he came out unharmed, the only relative he has left is a niece, and still with all the depression and sadness is seen smiling and being kind to her as well as worrying

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Other Reviews
Darkman90
Darkman90Lv1

I started this fanfic with zero expectations, just wanted to see what the story is like and where it is going and I can say with certainty that I am here to stay. A very mellow and chill story that you can read and have a good time. Starting with the world it is a mixed bag of a multiple stories together so kind of like fusion cuisine, where its like new and not new at the same time. But I will say the author made it simple and easy to follow with a good base for the story to go on. Occasionally the flashbacks confused me, as I can’t understand how many previous lives the mc had before the current one(as of chapter 90, I am still not sure). Writing quality is great with easy to follow and understandable sentences, not many errors in terms of spelling and grammar. But I think the author made a few mistakes with the timeline getting mixed up or even forgetting that certain character was already introduced to a character but then got introduced again to the same character. I will let it pass since juggling between multiple characters from different stories and different timelines can be quite difficult and one might get lost easily. Story, as of chapter 90 it is still not clear where the story is headed, what’s the goal? It seems like the author is going day to day and this is where I feel like the entire structure is not there…yet. Which leads me to my next point, the plot progression is really slow(which the author already warned about before I started the story) but I still I can’t help but feel that the story is slow and it kind of degrades the experience of reading this beautiful story. Like I loved it so far, read like 90 chapters in a day, and noticed that plot progression is like 30 or 40 chapters. So I hope the author-san notches up the pace a bit. Characters, the star of the show! I thoroughly enjoyed most of the characters. They didn’t feel like blank pieces in a story, most of them felt alive and likable. It is a fanfic so the characters are not original but I did notice the minor spices that author added to some of the characters. I also noticed other reviews calling the mc, beta-simp and pushover which is mostly not true. The mc is a very emotionless character but that doesn’t mean he is cold and selfish. He goes along with his companions wishes because he is just a caring character and many readers found it simp like behavior or pushover, which I personally didn’t think so. But at the same time I felt like the author just made him so agreeable to his companions wishes or whims just for the sake of tropes or plots, and thus it can make the mc seem off character a bit. Overall the characters were gem in this story. Last but not least stability of updates, I noticed author took like an 8 month break after publishing 60 or so chapters and then returned to the story. I just hope he publishes the story regularly from now and I will be an avid reader of this story. Please keep on updating author-san, I will be looking forward to more of your story.

Dabombd1g1t1
Dabombd1g1t1Lv1

The short: It’s okay. Not the best, but still readable. Main downside is the MC. Though, the story progression is interesting enough. The Long: (its very long) Writing Quality - 4/5 - Its not bad. Honestly, it gets the job done. A bit repetitive at times, though. There were some mistakes, but not overly jarring. (I recommend trying not to start sentences with “I [action]…” over and over again. You obviously don’t do it everywhere, but it happens enough that it becomes noticeable.) Updating Stability - 5/5 - Good. No problems. (Honestly, I’m very impressed how you churn these out so fast.) Story Development - 3/5 - This was a bit on the fence for me. I enjoyed the beginning very much, and it sets the MC’s personality nicely. However, it kinda falls off after that. Maybe it’s just the slice-of-life aspects, or maybe its the way things are presented, but it just feels boring. Like someone else stated before, it’s very cliché. And not the good kind of cliché, but something that feels pretty emotionless with the MC leading us. (Not sure what to recommend here, though. Character interactions are the bread and butter of any work, and I’d say they’re done okay in here.) Character Design - 3/5 - Pretty much held up by Kitagawa. Did a pretty good job on her, and I appreciate that as well as the others. The total is brought down by the MC. He’s… not horrible, but not great either. You have shown why his personality is like it is (which again, I really like the intro), but he just feels bland. He seems like the cookie cutter of every ‘weary hero’ archetype, which isn’t bad by itself, but he just acts too much like a husk for my taste. If he’s at that point, it probably would have made more sense for him to be a shut-in or have little to no reason to interact with anybody. (I think I can tell what you’re trying to do with the MC, and I am a sucker for some tropes, but the execution is a little off.) World Background - 4/5 - It feels like a bunch of things just jammed together, but it works for the fic. Some things are just there and you gotta accept them. The author is doing a fairly good job at splitting up setting and character interactions, though. (Nothing much to say. Plus this is getting a bit long…)

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