webnovel
Yoshitaka_Fukuda
Yoshitaka_FukudaLv12yr
2023-03-01 21:04

This novel is missing a harem tag. It has the same issues typical harem novels have, which is focusing to much on the women. It’s to the point where it brings down the story and becomes a hassle. The story progresses to slow for me because of it.

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Replies4
Alen_Tanor
Alen_TanorAuthor

I know right! The problem I'm having isn't knowing what each girl is doing, but giving each of them enough time to shine will slow the story. I found the same problem with the system as when the stats get long and big, I could blot a whole chapter with characters. (I'm not joking, the MC Cain stats is a 4567 word long without explanation which almost three chapters.) If you have any ideas please tell me, it will help

Yoshitaka_Fukuda
Yoshitaka_FukudaLv1

It’s an issue of focus, too many aspects. Like the harem there’s all the conversations, s*x scenes, rescue plots, etc. With the system it’s too many skills. It’s better too cut down to make it cleaner, focusing on the main story. In other novels an example would be instead of having fireball, fire bolt, etc. It just becomes fire manipulation that encompasses all fire spells. That sort of thing so people won’t have to focus on so many spells and can just know the strength by what tier they’ve unlocked. The problem with harem is balancing, people want to know their backstory but not so much that the story becomes about them. Which typically tends to happen. Some people enjoy it because “women”. But me personally I don’t want MC wasting his time having to drop whatever he’s doing to go save her because she got caught by a villain. Everyone’s taste is different. I guess I just like more solo goal oriented MCs that don’t get distracted. Others enjoy the “journey”.

Alen_Tanor:I know right! The problem I'm having isn't knowing what each girl is doing, but giving each of them enough time to shine will slow the story. I found the same problem with the system as when the stats get long and big, I could blot a whole chapter with characters. (I'm not joking, the MC Cain stats is a 4567 word long without explanation which almost three chapters.) If you have any ideas please tell me, it will help
Alen_Tanor
Alen_TanorAuthor

Thanks

Yoshitaka_Fukuda:It’s an issue of focus, too many aspects. Like the harem there’s all the conversations, s*x scenes, rescue plots, etc. With the system it’s too many skills. It’s better too cut down to make it cleaner, focusing on the main story. In other novels an example would be instead of having fireball, fire bolt, etc. It just becomes fire manipulation that encompasses all fire spells. That sort of thing so people won’t have to focus on so many spells and can just know the strength by what tier they’ve unlocked. The problem with harem is balancing, people want to know their backstory but not so much that the story becomes about them. Which typically tends to happen. Some people enjoy it because “women”. But me personally I don’t want MC wasting his time having to drop whatever he’s doing to go save her because she got caught by a villain. Everyone’s taste is different. I guess I just like more solo goal oriented MCs that don’t get distracted. Others enjoy the “journey”.
mika_zoey
mika_zoeyLv13

I mean it's kind of obvious it's going to be a harem story just based off of the cover (at the time this comment was made it was a busty cat girl showing off her assets by putting her hands behind her head and doing that chest puff thing that guys are often depicted doing in Media. Do you know that one seen in Milan where she puffs up her chest to seem more manly according to mushu that is what she's doing)

Other Reviews
CatHam
CatHamLv3
UndeadBeing
UndeadBeingLv12

I'm sad this is harem, the premise seemed good.‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

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AbiLIon · Fantasy
4.6
972 Chs