webnovel
TreacherousVoid
TreacherousVoidLv132yr
2022-06-08 04:31

The story is good, and it could have….no, it SHOULD have been great. The author however, continuously destroys his story for 13/18 chapters (thats as far as ive read) by making the MC A terrified, whiny, crying, shaking in his boots, overly cautious, complaining, garbage can of a human being I want to gouge my eyes out for half of each chapter before being able to get back into the story, and then the cycle repeats with the next chapter. The author stated he was a freshman in highschool so, i suppose i shouldnt be suprised. The story is still worth reading, just be aware that youll be causing yourself pain whilst doing so. BUT as they say! No pain, no gain!

Overlord: Reborn as an NPC

Delusion10
4.8
36 Chs

Liked by 21 people

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Replies3
Delusion10
Delusion10Author

Thanks for the review! Those issues are something I do want to fix within the next chapters! I hope you'll continue to read and give feedback so I can improve my writing and storytelling. These are the types of reviews I'm looking for :)

2yr
9
TreacherousVoid
TreacherousVoidLv13

Lol of course ill continue to read, the story is only 18 chapters in and I havent read a story on this site yet that wasnt “rocky” to say the least, at the very start. I hope theres a clear character development and hopefully its the good kind 😂 (Just a suggestion, but let the MC have a bit of pride as well. He seems to have no self confidence and it shows) P.S. i said PRIDE, not arrogance lol

Delusion10:Thanks for the review! Those issues are something I do want to fix within the next chapters! I hope you'll continue to read and give feedback so I can improve my writing and storytelling. These are the types of reviews I'm looking for :)
2yr
14
OriginalEternal
OriginalEternalLv2

to be honest anyone would cry if they were in his situation

TreacherousVoid:Lol of course ill continue to read, the story is only 18 chapters in and I havent read a story on this site yet that wasnt “rocky” to say the least, at the very start. I hope theres a clear character development and hopefully its the good kind 😂 (Just a suggestion, but let the MC have a bit of pride as well. He seems to have no self confidence and it shows) P.S. i said PRIDE, not arrogance lol
19d
1
Other Reviews
Delusion10
Delusion10Author

A shameless 4 Star review for myself because why not. The reason why I didn't give myself 5 Stars is that let's get real here. My fanfic isn't perfect. There are bound to be plot holes in my character and story because this is my first attempt at a proper piece of writing. Though as of writing, there are only 7 chapters, I hope you can provide me proper and helpful feedback about anything. I can only improve my writing if I have the proper advice. (Please don't be too harsh I'm only a freshman in High School) The story is inspired by MidasMan, the author of 'Yellowness' on fanfiction.net. I got permission to borrow some elements of the story but that's it. The story will change completely in a few chapters :)

3yr

Groenendaal
GroenendaalLv1

I went into this thinking it to be a carbon copy of yellowness and i wont lie it was for the beginning but it quickly branched off and avoided some of the things i disliked about yellowness. I was a bit worried about the MC ending up as a tag along side character but that has been avoided which is great aside from that the writing quality is great, stability is good and the characters are well described. Its overlord so its not hard to get a 5 for world background, just up to research which seems good in this.

2yr
ThanksgivingDinner
ThanksgivingDinnerLv14

Reveal spoiler

2yr
El_Tobi0999
El_Tobi0999Lv3

That only thing I hope for this fanfic. It's that the mc won't become a subordinate of Ainz. Other than that, I recommend reading this fanfic.

3yr
CephJester
CephJesterLv2

Reveal spoiler

3yr
Month
MonthLv13

Bro its been soo long since i felt such addiction to a story. This Fic is soo well written and good. The background on the mc is also nice and i love it. Not to mention the mc’s appearance is fire. I need more chapters!!!!! If you have a patreon where there are early chapters give it to me and take my money!

3yr
marcelll3214
marcelll3214Lv2

Until chapter 9 it is one of those stories where mc does nothing that matters. He went with Ainz into Carne and litteraly did everything Ainz did on original story. Even gesticulation. Mc also said that he does not want to change cannon so there is no reason to read. I am giving 3 stars only because idea, character looks and backstory, and gramar are good.

3yr
akasuna123
akasuna123Lv5

cool premise and story but the main character is a little dumb and there are plot holes. review review review review review review review review review

3yr
Melitia_Snek
Melitia_SnekLv5

One of my favorite Overlord FF, I stopped reading it a few months back but came back and finished it just now. So I decided to leave a review- The writing quality is very good in this novel, and what I love the most are the interactions between the MC and the other characters. The upload schedule is a little wack, but I don't mind it as I prefer the author take their time and not write worse than usual. The only real downside to this novel is the author's -ahem- HORRIBLE "fashion style" (If you can even call it that), otherwise it's a surprisingly light read (most of the time).

2yr
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