As of eighteen, this story is a hidden potential treasure. Its really as unexpected experience where at first i thought it was mtl. Pros: Mc has luffy lv willpower Development is too good Cons: Mc is weak minded Doesn't have any potential to be anything but a puppet to WG Unlike yovan everything is jyst too easy for em Author made some shit up that didn't exist in canon, like there's only sengoku and zypher as admirals! He created some random nobodies with no care, Dear Author i would be happy if you create a story where mc is actually a pieate hunter! Thats what though from title sadly! A story with being a soft hearted marine has no potential unless he becomes an akainu. Its all on you thats just a general advice of someone that has read countless works that makes it big to the very end. If you want to stick to your plot can u write another fic?? Your writing has potential why don't u create a villian mc just like doffy? Or you can follow Q footsteps creatong something better than crow of depression Yovan. Consider it
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Prior to writing the prologue of this fanfic, I too had such thoughts in my mind. Creating a 'good' MC without a sense of hypocrisy, one who is not the 'puppet' of the World Government as you say—is it truly possible? It was as if the world of One Piece discouraged me from building a good MC! However, neutral MC, anti-hero MC, selfish and self-concerned MC... I've seen far too many of those in WebNovel. I was actually debating between Smoker and Doflamingo just as you suggested, and decided on the former. Besides, even if I made Doflamingo as MC, I doubt I would've made him a villain; I simply cannot understand the joy of reading the villain fic, and I probably never will. The moniker of 'White Hunter' that you've mistaken as the foreshadowing of Pirate Hunter, is the canon title of Smoker as the Marine Captain. Including the made-up Admirals in the story seemed better than leaving Sengoku as the sole Admiral, especially when considering that the age during then was full of incredible pirates such as Roger, Whitebeard, and Xebec. I created them such that the tradition of 'three Admirals' continued all the way from the past. Soft-hearted marine has no potential unless he becomes Akainu? I do agree with soft-hearted part, which renders MC dull, boring, and weak. However, definitely not with the Akainu part. I believe that we have a different tastes in that part; I tend not to like a neutral-evil individual with twisted sense of justice as my MC, whether I am the reader or the writer. And finally, the biggest concern of all: being the 'puppet' of the World Government. In all honesty, this is one of the major challenges that I must overcome. Will MC try to find out the way to free Marine from the World Government? Not sure; the idea itself sounds naïve. Instead, if such instances come by, I'll probably make MC leave the Marine, similar to how Kuzan did in canon.
Here's some things important in progressing your story in the vast future: First off, you should try out the chinese fic of the mc having the devil fruit of time and space. The mc is a marine that breaks the marine away from WG after becoming the fleet and so much planing. You should change your ideal of "good pirates" as you stated they're good in nature but no matter what they cause destruction, civilians misery, ect.. You should make mc indifferent to all not like locking luffy up! That's stupid because it willn't stop him getting freed, you should make him kill whon wver ia needed for justice! You said it yourself! Who defines justice the winners! But he is too weak to be a winner so hide his ideas and slowing let him control marine. He will never become truly a admiral because if gov't found out his justice it's IMPOSSIBLE WATCH READ dome smoke powers of other animes novels fics! Be creative The only way if you want to survive is to be df creative! Don't focus on haki! And no conqueror! Don't even think if it.
BravoBuds:Prior to writing the prologue of this fanfic, I too had such thoughts in my mind. Creating a 'good' MC without a sense of hypocrisy, one who is not the 'puppet' of the World Government as you say—is it truly possible? It was as if the world of One Piece discouraged me from building a good MC! However, neutral MC, anti-hero MC, selfish and self-concerned MC... I've seen far too many of those in WebNovel. I was actually debating between Smoker and Doflamingo just as you suggested, and decided on the former. Besides, even if I made Doflamingo as MC, I doubt I would've made him a villain; I simply cannot understand the joy of reading the villain fic, and I probably never will. The moniker of 'White Hunter' that you've mistaken as the foreshadowing of Pirate Hunter, is the canon title of Smoker as the Marine Captain. Including the made-up Admirals in the story seemed better than leaving Sengoku as the sole Admiral, especially when considering that the age during then was full of incredible pirates such as Roger, Whitebeard, and Xebec. I created them such that the tradition of 'three Admirals' continued all the way from the past. Soft-hearted marine has no potential unless he becomes Akainu? I do agree with soft-hearted part, which renders MC dull, boring, and weak. However, definitely not with the Akainu part. I believe that we have a different tastes in that part; I tend not to like a neutral-evil individual with twisted sense of justice as my MC, whether I am the reader or the writer. And finally, the biggest concern of all: being the 'puppet' of the World Government. In all honesty, this is one of the major challenges that I must overcome. Will MC try to find out the way to free Marine from the World Government? Not sure; the idea itself sounds naïve. Instead, if such instances come by, I'll probably make MC leave the Marine, similar to how Kuzan did in canon.
I for one can’t wait to see where you plan to take this
BravoBuds:Prior to writing the prologue of this fanfic, I too had such thoughts in my mind. Creating a 'good' MC without a sense of hypocrisy, one who is not the 'puppet' of the World Government as you say—is it truly possible? It was as if the world of One Piece discouraged me from building a good MC! However, neutral MC, anti-hero MC, selfish and self-concerned MC... I've seen far too many of those in WebNovel. I was actually debating between Smoker and Doflamingo just as you suggested, and decided on the former. Besides, even if I made Doflamingo as MC, I doubt I would've made him a villain; I simply cannot understand the joy of reading the villain fic, and I probably never will. The moniker of 'White Hunter' that you've mistaken as the foreshadowing of Pirate Hunter, is the canon title of Smoker as the Marine Captain. Including the made-up Admirals in the story seemed better than leaving Sengoku as the sole Admiral, especially when considering that the age during then was full of incredible pirates such as Roger, Whitebeard, and Xebec. I created them such that the tradition of 'three Admirals' continued all the way from the past. Soft-hearted marine has no potential unless he becomes Akainu? I do agree with soft-hearted part, which renders MC dull, boring, and weak. However, definitely not with the Akainu part. I believe that we have a different tastes in that part; I tend not to like a neutral-evil individual with twisted sense of justice as my MC, whether I am the reader or the writer. And finally, the biggest concern of all: being the 'puppet' of the World Government. In all honesty, this is one of the major challenges that I must overcome. Will MC try to find out the way to free Marine from the World Government? Not sure; the idea itself sounds naïve. Instead, if such instances come by, I'll probably make MC leave the Marine, similar to how Kuzan did in canon.
Thanks for the advice!
AmonBlessed:Here's some things important in progressing your story in the vast future: First off, you should try out the chinese fic of the mc having the devil fruit of time and space. The mc is a marine that breaks the marine away from WG after becoming the fleet and so much planing. You should change your ideal of "good pirates" as you stated they're good in nature but no matter what they cause destruction, civilians misery, ect.. You should make mc indifferent to all not like locking luffy up! That's stupid because it willn't stop him getting freed, you should make him kill whon wver ia needed for justice! You said it yourself! Who defines justice the winners! But he is too weak to be a winner so hide his ideas and slowing let him control marine. He will never become truly a admiral because if gov't found out his justice it's IMPOSSIBLE WATCH READ dome smoke powers of other animes novels fics! Be creative The only way if you want to survive is to be df creative! Don't focus on haki! And no conqueror! Don't even think if it.
