Ah, I was going to wait until I've read the entire book, but I can barely get past chapter 3 without some critiques. Proper address of the servants and masters are a given, this is a period piece set in ancient China even though I haven't seen a dynasty mentioned still the manner in which the people speak is off putting. Have you ever watched or read a Chinese period novel or drama? It's a great story and plot but the voice I get from it is 'modern American'. Please consider revisions if you haven't already and you might benefit from reading 'From Ceo to Concubine' by Queeniecat on here bc that is a well written Ye Dynasty transmigration piece.
Liked by 2 people
LIKE
First of all, thank you so much for your comments. I'm sorry if my way of writing is bad. This is my first ORIGINAL story. Before this, I only wrote fanfic. I admit I lack of knowledge in ancient Chinese poetic sentences and culture and English is my 2nd language. So that's why this story sounds more like a modern story. But I challenge myself to write this because I love historical theme. Sorry again if this story doesn't meet your expectations. I will take note of your criticism and write a better story in the future.
Ah, now it makes sense! Great plot and story line for your first work. Please consider the recommendation that I spoke of before and I wish you all the best in growing as a writer.
Oh also, when it comes to actually publishing your writing, if that's something you want to do in the future, I suggest doing more research given the flow of your story. If you are offended by constructive criticism then just ignore it, but it's meant to help you become better in your field if thats what you choose to do, because as I mentioned I would love to edit this piece.
