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Etiger789
Etiger789Lv153yr
2021-12-13 04:36

Great story so far, though it doest feel progressive. All I've read is him being weak or not good enough, or just struggling with everything when combined with his talent and hard work he shouldn't be staggering.( I think you mean stagnating.)Maybe lack of inspiration. He has a great teacher, talent is hardworking, and has arguably one of the strongest weapons in fate and the most holy sword, Excaliber. Just imagine what he can do if he can unseal it and get rid of the 13 seals holding excaliber back. my point is he should have been a genius of the sword while his brother a genius of magic but you've described him as having less talent in the sword then rudeus in magic. I get its going to be a slow fic and you don't want make him unnecessarily op to quickly, but don't down play him and make him look weak with every encounter or fight he has.

Liked by 27 people

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Replies5
Idk_wqe2
Idk_wqe2Author

he's 10, chill, just because he has talent doesn't mean he has the experience, but don't worry, im getting there, his body will be fully developed by the school ark.

Idk_wqe2
Idk_wqe2Author

also, the fights he had were with a sword king and a sword god, and he has not used the "switch" ability yet.

Idk_wqe2:he's 10, chill, just because he has talent doesn't mean he has the experience, but don't worry, im getting there, his body will be fully developed by the school ark.
Etiger789
Etiger789Lv15

??? I am chill.( Im not trying to hate or anything 🤣🤣😅) Its just what I think as I'm reading it. And the experice part well I'm not saying he should be God by the age of 10 line most isekies but he has had around 5 or 6 years of training in. I wouldn't call that enixpericed.

Idk_wqe2:he's 10, chill, just because he has talent doesn't mean he has the experience, but don't worry, im getting there, his body will be fully developed by the school ark.
Sirrow
SirrowLv14

Thanks for the warning 👍

Emeka_Nwana
Emeka_NwanaLv4

make him a genius dats a lame excuse rudeus could do chantel’s magic den don’t be stingy to ur own character

Idk_wqe2:he's 10, chill, just because he has talent doesn't mean he has the experience, but don't worry, im getting there, his body will be fully developed by the school ark.
Other Reviews
Muramasa_Zero
Muramasa_ZeroLv2

I have a problem with this story, and being honest, if I had to compare it to the original story this one feels empty, but not an ordinary emptiness, a very deep emptiness. In my opinion moshoku tensei was not made to be told in a quick and summarized way, if I had to put it in a few words this novel does not have the essence of the original, there is no world development, there is no character development and if there is it is practically null, and here is where I repeat myself, moshoku tensei was not told in a quick way, it was told at its own pace, a pace that allowed to give personality and life to both the characters and the world something that I don't see anywhere in this fan-fic, and to finish this novel doesn't give me the same feeling as the original, it doesn't even make me want to dive into the story because I know it won't matter, and if I had to give a reason is mainly because there is no real conflict or difficulty or an impact that truly feels emotional and meaningful. Now the only good thing I saw was the initial concept of reincarnation with excalibur, that's the only thing I found interesting and a couple of other concepts such as immortality (of old age). And being honest what I like about these stories is to see how a new character will affect, what things will change and how severe the butterfly effect would be, and here the butterfly effect is noticeable but in a very negative way, it is as if the oc has stopped the mental advancement of all the characters or more specifically the growth as a person of each character. (or I just didn't feel that the characters really changed much throughout the story).

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