Danmachi fanfic. The story itself seems good and their is no major grammar or spelling mistakes so far or at least i haven't noticed any. SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW Story starts with the Protagonist joining hestia and bell is already their but has not been covered in blood by ais yet. The protag has got 1 magic and 1 skill at the start which are good and he does not seem interested in any of the Loki family romantically.

Reveal spoiler

Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia HestiaHestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia Hestia

a babysitter and a simp who cant say no to girls a babysitter and a simp who cant say no to girls a babysitter and a simp who cant say no to girls a babysitter and a simp who cant say no to girls

I'm surprised to see people think this is good. I read this story but just found it boring and irritating. mc just goes with the flow of the original story and the writer makes mc pretty bland in his story, he just fuses things and takes care of Bell. Every chapter i read and i look at the comments section, no one gives a critique of the story. I think that they are brain dead or indeed the author is deleting people's comments

Honest Review:- Writing Quailty (3 Stars): It's readable so three stars but still it has a lot of problems. There are periods, commas, quotations and bunch of other stuff that's plain missing. On top of that there's also the numerous grammatical mistakes littered throughout the thing. Their, They're, your, you're and the likes are being used interchangeably and that 's a major problem. So far I haven't noticed any spelling mistakes so nothing on that. Update Stability (4 Stars): This gets a four stars because I don't really care about it. So long as someone keeps updating I don't have a single problem. Story Development (2 Stars): This is a 2 honestly. It does add in a new character but that 's like the only thing. It didn't deviate from canon at all. I know there are some small changes but every major event goes the same with out any change. On top of that there's also all the bull mixed in, Freya's familia would die smiling if she asked them to so betrayal is BS taken too far. We have Level 6 adventurers dying to Ishtar's people. Oh and I'm ignoring all the forced stuff here. The one thing I've learnt is that you should always try to deviate from canon if you want to deliver something enjoyable and for lack of better words, original. Character Desgin (2 Stars): It just doesn't do it for me. The MC has a very bland personality that just goes with whatever others decide, he refuses to think for himself and keeps on making dumb decisions. His power isn't a cheat? That's BS, his power IS a cheat. He makes Elder Dragon Level Gear and hands it out like candy and what did he need for it? A few drops of blood, and some other low level weapons. I admit that it was Divine Blood but still Elder Dragon Level is going too far. The other characters aren't really done right. For me the thing with Hestia was quite stupid and forced, Lili just went for him as soon as they came back from the dungeon, I'm sorry but you don't get the trust of someone with a past like hers that easily. Furthermore, Freya's intelligence was also knocked down several notches to make several events. World Background (4 Stars): Frankly, I don't care about this at all. As someone who has both read and watched Danmachi I don't really need that much detail on this so I'm happy with it. ================= I've already stopped reading it as I can't do it anymore and this is from someone who enjoys reading MTLs. Hope my review helps and with that I'll be off.

Technically, it's not bad. Unfortunately, it's like the most boring work I see in this month. New mc, doesn't add anything by himself. And he seems more soulless then office worker in a Monday. Like, he just standing here and commenting inside his head. And he is a very beta guy. He already fall down to every cliche possible, like being afraid of every actions that girls throw at him and of course, funny anime misunderstanding! I literally was considering killing myself after reading this. Not in a ironic way. Like this stuff wasn't funny in a first animes like slayer or luiza-nuliza back in early 2000-x and someone still writting them. And because of this it's looks even more dumber. ... The only saving grace is ability of mc. But when mc is just this boring, how much single ability could help?

Asking for money for this low quality a story is beyond ridiculous to me. Even ignoring the content for now, the spelling, grammar and styling is middle-school-homework level bad. It's bad even for a first draft. That the writer then has the balls to release it in that form is.. something else. The content is honestly pretty childish, but should be less of a focus than presentation, for now. Conveying a story is difficult, but continuing with this kind of lazy writing will never get you anywhere.

everything sucks. no periods. no originality. no background information. no periods. while reading this thing i felt out of breath even though i read it in my head

In my opinion a good story I like the MC has a good personality I hope it continues like this and does not become a young teacher or worse since I have seen how some MCs get damaged by getting waifus a la pokemon I hope the author-sama don't drop this story