webnovel
name1681
name1681Lv143yr
2021-12-05 11:45

Danmachi fanfic. The story itself seems good and their is no major grammar or spelling mistakes so far or at least i haven't noticed any. SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW SPOILERS BELLOW Story starts with the Protagonist joining hestia and bell is already their but has not been covered in blood by ais yet. The protag has got 1 magic and 1 skill at the start which are good and he does not seem interested in any of the Loki family romantically.

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Replies12
name1681
name1681Lv14

I put this here because their are no reviews and the synopsis doesn't tell us anything. I have only put the basics here but do give it a try.

LaurentCross
LaurentCrossLv13

trash hestia simp

ErelV
ErelVLv3

Jasjajaja no harem?

origin_seth
origin_sethLv4

heh, talk about simp.. why dont you say that you not simp with your wife ? in front of her face. you said that and you will get a divorce paper. dude, Be real..

LaurentCross:trash hestia simp
TheRealJesusChwist
TheRealJesusChwistLv3

tags do say harem, so... idk

ErelV:Jasjajaja no harem?
etkowatches
etkowatchesLv15

you clearly don't understand grammar concepts

Joshua_Brillas_7872
Joshua_Brillas_7872Lv3

I like the story

machadogbc
machadogbcLv15

The story seems nice but I hate Lili so I’m out, sorry.

IsekaiLord
IsekaiLordLv4

simp means a man simping for someone that does not love him back. Why don't you go up to your teacher who you have a crush on and manipulate her so you can live with her. .simp

origin_seth:heh, talk about simp.. why dont you say that you not simp with your wife ? in front of her face. you said that and you will get a divorce paper. dude, Be real..
CouchPotatoDandy
CouchPotatoDandyLv5

Thanks for writing which fanfic this is about. I can't stand those authors who doesn't mention which world their MC is reincarnates in... Anyway, thanks!

ArdentAngel
ArdentAngelLv13

Seeing there are supposed no major grammar mistakes, I gave this novel a go. Thanks for misleading the audience with your non-understanding of proper English review with unreal facts. Next time, please don't state facts you aren't sure about. So let me put this out there first: sentences have no head or tail, they are mushed together to barely make sense of what author is trying to convene. Paragraphs are also randomly split, but this doesn't really bother me all that much. And vocabulary, there are lots of mistakes as well. No, English isn't my primary language either, but I can't enjoy such broken English either. I have no idea if grammar improved later down the line, since I couldn't stand reading past the first couple chapters. Otherwise, thanks for the review, it did gave hope and a hint at what to expect from the story. Unfortunately, bad grammar did turn me away at the end, as happens with too many novels on this site.

Adam_Clinton
Adam_ClintonLv13

Thanks for doing god's work OP. It's very frustrating reading fanfiction on webnovel where they don't even say what it's a fanfiction of. Like, I have to look through reviews or skim chapter titles looking for familiar names.

Other Reviews
Shika_Kagura
Shika_KaguraLv14

Pure_R18_Terror
Pure_R18_TerrorLv3

Honest Review:- Writing Quailty (3 Stars): It's readable so three stars but still it has a lot of problems. There are periods, commas, quotations and bunch of other stuff that's plain missing. On top of that there's also the numerous grammatical mistakes littered throughout the thing. Their, They're, your, you're and the likes are being used interchangeably and that 's a major problem. So far I haven't noticed any spelling mistakes so nothing on that. Update Stability (4 Stars): This gets a four stars because I don't really care about it. So long as someone keeps updating I don't have a single problem. Story Development (2 Stars): This is a 2 honestly. It does add in a new character but that 's like the only thing. It didn't deviate from canon at all. I know there are some small changes but every major event goes the same with out any change. On top of that there's also all the bull mixed in, Freya's familia would die smiling if she asked them to so betrayal is BS taken too far. We have Level 6 adventurers dying to Ishtar's people. Oh and I'm ignoring all the forced stuff here. The one thing I've learnt is that you should always try to deviate from canon if you want to deliver something enjoyable and for lack of better words, original. Character Desgin (2 Stars): It just doesn't do it for me. The MC has a very bland personality that just goes with whatever others decide, he refuses to think for himself and keeps on making dumb decisions. His power isn't a cheat? That's BS, his power IS a cheat. He makes Elder Dragon Level Gear and hands it out like candy and what did he need for it? A few drops of blood, and some other low level weapons. I admit that it was Divine Blood but still Elder Dragon Level is going too far. The other characters aren't really done right. For me the thing with Hestia was quite stupid and forced, Lili just went for him as soon as they came back from the dungeon, I'm sorry but you don't get the trust of someone with a past like hers that easily. Furthermore, Freya's intelligence was also knocked down several notches to make several events. World Background (4 Stars): Frankly, I don't care about this at all. As someone who has both read and watched Danmachi I don't really need that much detail on this so I'm happy with it. ================= I've already stopped reading it as I can't do it anymore and this is from someone who enjoys reading MTLs. Hope my review helps and with that I'll be off.

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