a all around decent fanfic, my big problem with it is the way the speech is handled, 'blah blah blah' (and no I'm not talking about ' being at the bottom of the line at the beginning of the sentence) this way of representing the speech is bad because most of the time you don't know who is speaking and unless you use !? then you wont be able to express how the character is speaking i.e. mad, sad, shocked, furious. and it just breaks up the conversation and immersion. but I also recognize that there are other problems like minor grammar errors, a nerf with the bonus quest, disappointment with roger being both his father and the character he gets his power from; but these things are very minor and for me either could ignore them easily or just plainly didn't matter. that being said I rate this 4 Twinkies out of 6 boots
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1 twinkie=1.5 boots 4 Twinkies=6 boots
