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Little_El
Little_ElLv31yr
2023-02-23 06:56

Read this story guys, it's PERFECTION !!! honestly, it's the best story I've read, Will is perfect, he does not try to help everyone and this mother, Think about each small action to not change the timeline And above all, it's fast day by day and It's the end of Westeros, Will est moi if I fall to planetos, Steal everything that shines And above all, he fell out of the old chair . I really hope to see your Harry Potter story soon, If the MC is Potter, I already see the atrocious death of the Dursleys.

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_ST_8244
_ST_8244Lv4

The way you've created your own novel is unique and interesting and actually good as its different from other people's novels about GOT as well. For example, the plots it has, the character build up its good even not allowing Daenarys to be all that powerful. But here the thing the MC has no set goals which is stupid and avoids the iron throne procrastinating about the negatives but that's stupid as you don't want to be the same as other fan Fics which is clear to see but you do it different. could do it different. all the goal he has is robbing people to satisfy which is pointless as he then the mc and author gives hypocritical opinions to justify how their evil or something when you're the mc is just as bad as them for killing when there's no need as some of them are truly innocent, but you even kill the servant or something. I get the Bolton or another individual but they haven't even done anything and yet you just kill which is stupid. All in all, its hypercritical how he doesn't want to be like politician and stuff which is clearly personified from your true opinion as the writer which your putting for the mc. has typical mc Chinese syndrome as people call it as he has no ties to the world born just like those novels or the fact that the mc is powerful and does whatever he wants. Another thing you did a harem, or you may have further down the line which is just like the fan Fics you don't want even going as far as having Rhaneys what was the point that Mormont girl would've been different from the other novels, but you didn't, and a classic act is having a baby so young like those novels. this adds another point why they even survived in the first place. let's get one thing clear you could write about a GOT but one without powers and one not as hypocritical and heck even go for the throne or be one of the Targaryen's or even great houses or something and still be able to grant a wish for knowledge of technology and army formation that can be used in Westeros and that's an interesting story you have and its not even powerful. I wasn't even going to read this novel as just the first chapter of him having those power or even just randomly popping out of nowhere with no blood family or something just made it a typic fan fic that i slowly don't rate but i still read it. i barely write reviews and when i do its mostly good but yours although its unique and interesting but it's too hypocritical with no goals set and tries and defend his action just like those novels which you the author hates or mc then you state stuff about Boltons and you do the same its typical and then you try to evaluate everyone when you could've have changed cercei or even take the iron throne before Robert or something but as you stated your forget the time while training with a typical time skip for that long the various excuses and other bits like he has no goals apart from robbing and protect family and that just lowers the level of the novel . the character design and story development you should understand why its low, random person pops out of nowhere with no background doesn't even make sense, going on to kill and steal for no valid reason when he could easily make money and draws enemy but it's impossible to deal with the guy so it's not really developing apart from those enemies being naive to think they can take him down which leads to the mc Chinese syndrome of young master takes down the another enemy young master who then deals with his uncle or ancestor etc. You may not care as you state "it's my fan fic" or something, good but one thing is why do you post on a site where people can read and comment etc if it's just your fan fic as this could be avoided by not posting so your point is invalid again this is all my opinion as everyone has.

vnodk19
vnodk19Lv1
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