A solid idea unfortunately brought down by the the portrayal of the world and characters within it. It's fine to have a hyper competent MC but others must react accordingly; after the first game released there should have been interviews, TV appearances, the school would have literally thrown his face everywhere they could to say look how successful our students are. Whether it's his mother, friends, other students, the school, the media, or the world as a whole; literally everyone has failed to show an even slightly proportional reaction to any of his achievements. This story is by no means bad in terms of grammar, plot or structure, it simply fails to create a believable world and comes of as lifeless as a result.
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Thanks for taking the time to read. It would be unfortunate for you not to read about more important people's reactions to Future Technologies instead of kids and middle-school parents (I don't care what those insignificant people think, but President Obama, though.)
That outlook it what kills this story man you gotta put work into it even if said people don’t have a reputation because public opinion is important but also intresting to see their reactions from a readers stand point
Viincentt:Thanks for taking the time to read. It would be unfortunate for you not to read about more important people's reactions to Future Technologies instead of kids and middle-school parents (I don't care what those insignificant people think, but President Obama, though.)
And that's fine, but you have to at least mention them to create a more believable setting. Not seeing that will just kill the story.
Viincentt:Thanks for taking the time to read. It would be unfortunate for you not to read about more important people's reactions to Future Technologies instead of kids and middle-school parents (I don't care what those insignificant people think, but President Obama, though.)
