webnovel
Bob_Uchiha_XD
Bob_Uchiha_XDLv43yr
2021-12-11 00:56

It's not my cup of coffee. I like to read stories that have the premise with this story (the synopsis: time travel; MC male; Build country, kingdom, company...) ————————————————————— The writing quality is good ... good author work. The problem is MC and consequently the development of the story. In the story, the year is 2011 and MC is 13 years old. So, unexpectedly MC can create companies, games, programs ... BUT! It seems illogical to me that no one question MC, How can a child without education do technological, economic, legal jobs? In addition, MC has no legal problems to work and do business ... and that is illogical; his age (13 years) prevents him from doing all this, because the countries They make laws to prevent child labor ... according to the UN treaty, the member countries are legally obliged to protect children. Uffffff, well...

Re: Life - Business & Technology

Viincentt
4.3
164 Chs

Liked by 12 people

LIKE
Replies3
Viincentt
ViincenttAuthor

"Texas child labor laws regulate the employment of youth in the state of Texas. These laws dictate the ages and the times as well as the types of work they may perform. Generally, speaking children 13 years old or younger may not work in Texas, except in some limited situations. Youth who are 14 and 15 years old may work in a broader range of jobs, but are significantly limited in the number of hours per day and per week they may work, especially when school is in session. Youth who are 16 and 17 years old may work in a broad range jobs, but cannot work in those jobs that have been explicitly deemed to be too hazardous. The details of Texas child labor laws are discussed below."(Retrieved from Texas Employment Law Handbook) You get a good lawyer and find the "exception in limited situations" And Young and capable people are everywhere. Middle school kids create recycled bags from trash on a large scale in Africa as an example. Real-life can be more interesting than even novels.

3yr
4
Bob_Uchiha_XD
Bob_Uchiha_XDLv4

Mc 18 old years is best.

Viincentt:"Texas child labor laws regulate the employment of youth in the state of Texas. These laws dictate the ages and the times as well as the types of work they may perform. Generally, speaking children 13 years old or younger may not work in Texas, except in some limited situations. Youth who are 14 and 15 years old may work in a broader range of jobs, but are significantly limited in the number of hours per day and per week they may work, especially when school is in session. Youth who are 16 and 17 years old may work in a broad range jobs, but cannot work in those jobs that have been explicitly deemed to be too hazardous. The details of Texas child labor laws are discussed below."(Retrieved from Texas Employment Law Handbook) You get a good lawyer and find the "exception in limited situations" And Young and capable people are everywhere. Middle school kids create recycled bags from trash on a large scale in Africa as an example. Real-life can be more interesting than even novels.
3yr
1
Kaisen1
Kaisen1Lv4

but why not anyone questions him or just wonder that how can he create company, etc. there's no interview or social media appearance, he or any businessman needs a media exposure for them to promote their brand, company, and what thing they will release to the masses

Viincentt:"Texas child labor laws regulate the employment of youth in the state of Texas. These laws dictate the ages and the times as well as the types of work they may perform. Generally, speaking children 13 years old or younger may not work in Texas, except in some limited situations. Youth who are 14 and 15 years old may work in a broader range of jobs, but are significantly limited in the number of hours per day and per week they may work, especially when school is in session. Youth who are 16 and 17 years old may work in a broad range jobs, but cannot work in those jobs that have been explicitly deemed to be too hazardous. The details of Texas child labor laws are discussed below."(Retrieved from Texas Employment Law Handbook) You get a good lawyer and find the "exception in limited situations" And Young and capable people are everywhere. Middle school kids create recycled bags from trash on a large scale in Africa as an example. Real-life can be more interesting than even novels.
3yr
1
Other Reviews
Viincentt
ViincenttAuthor

Author here. Thank you guys for checking out and reading my first attempt at writing a novel. I would highly appreciate any feedback in the reviews and you are welcome to message me on webnovel about the novel. Thank you again!!

3yr

AkiraLight
AkiraLightLv15

At the time of this review there's only 20 chapters, it won't be a detailed review but i will update later on in the novel. The writing quality is a 5/5 for me, there are grammatical mistakes and mistakes with the calculations but it's not to frequent within the novel, it noticable but won't ruin the experience. One example of these calculations errors is with the mc's mother. In one chapter his mother was said to make 50k a month while working as a secretary. I think you meant 50k a year as a month would be an over price. The pace of the novel dosen't feel to rushed and is a steady pace. The detail to character development and world background is doing great, the interaction with other characters comes of as natural and not awkward or unrealistic. overall I highly recommend reading this novel if you're into mc's building up their financial empire while only utilizing their future knowledge.

3yr
rob_von_carstein
rob_von_carsteinLv1

Writing quality is excellent. Wish i could for free though as i cannot read the rest. I like where this story is heading. The characters are memorable. World seems to be full of cool places and things, and the tech in use is fascinating. This guys novel has a website which you all should check out, full of art and graphics. you can tell they have put a lot of effort into it. Overall its a 10/10.

2yr
BrianG9677
BrianG9677Lv15

It has potential but ruined early 1 mc shifts to being 13 to quickly 2 mc focusing on bitcoin instead of other avenues of wealth 3 not clear on how much earned and how much spent ruins immersion 4 ex husband hired an expert yet a 13 year old defeated him easily without real expertise 5 not clear where set 6 illogical speed for earnings 7 why only focus on digital and not land etc 8 mc is multimillionaire yet you expect readers to believe he isn't getting more attention at school 9 mother follows everything he says because he says it 10 to many time skips

3yr
WealthyRaccoon
WealthyRaccoonLv14

A solid idea unfortunately brought down by the the portrayal of the world and characters within it. It's fine to have a hyper competent MC but others must react accordingly; after the first game released there should have been interviews, TV appearances, the school would have literally thrown his face everywhere they could to say look how successful our students are. Whether it's his mother, friends, other students, the school, the media, or the world as a whole; literally everyone has failed to show an even slightly proportional reaction to any of his achievements. This story is by no means bad in terms of grammar, plot or structure, it simply fails to create a believable world and comes of as lifeless as a result.

3yr
Kurdi123
Kurdi123Lv11

no plot logic. why why why why why why why 😑 why why why why why why why why why 😑 why why why why why why why why why 😑 why why why why why why why why why 😑 why why why why why why why why why😑 why why why why why why why why why😑 why why why why why why why why why 😑 why why why why why why why why why 😑 why why why why why why why why why 😑 why why why why why why why why why 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

3yr
galactica
galacticaLv2

He (Brian_Gallacher) summarized my criticism very well so I'll just copy and paste it. It has potential but ruined early 1 mc shifts to being 13 to quickly 2 mc focusing on bitcoin instead of other avenues of wealth 3 not clear on how much earned and how much spent ruins immersion 4 ex husband hired an expert yet a 13 year old defeated him easily without real expertise 5 not clear where set 6 illogical speed for earnings 7 why only focus on digital and not land etc 8 mc is multimillionaire yet you expect readers to believe he isn't getting more attention at school 9 mother follows everything he says because he says it 10 to many time skips

3yr
OrIgIn
OrIgInLv14

Reveal spoiler

3yr
KoAery
KoAeryLv11

40 Chapters as of making this review. Reading the novel feels like a fever dream the world is weird since things from 2020 are appearing in 2012 the main character feels like hes just there to do a single thing and only that and its to improve technology. The snowball move was quite nice but kind of destroyed alot of plot. Also internet seems to fade in and out of existence its like its there for fillers and the next couple of chapters are just tech talk. nevertheless its an ok novel 8.5/10

3yr
YoungMaster_MtTai
YoungMaster_MtTaiLv4

not a bad novel but has quite a few issues but my biggest is that mc has no setbacks, every industry he invests in somehow makes him money even when it doesn't rely on his future knowledge. his bodyguard turns out to be a cybersecurity expert . also how does a bunch of 13teen year old even focus and becomes experts in theri field, that was way to far-fetched

3yr
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