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Zel_Mur
Zel_MurLv13yr
2022-02-24 01:12

Yo, it's ur friend zel, you sent me to help you, right? Here's my review. There are flaws in how you write the narration, don't push yourself or the story might get boring. I hate the part where orcs and goblins are coming out of nowhere, It's kinda rushed. Also, the part where the mc and his friends doing investigations, I like mysteries but kinda boring. I suggest don't put too much dialogue in the chapters It felt annoying to me, the recent chapters you took my advice, good! Another suggestion as well from me: Use Grammarly and study the tenses formula, this way your book will be successful. That's all my reviews for you. I'm just advising on your work, I don't mean to force you to improve and change the story. I hope you'll be successful one day! Keep on writing! πŸ‘

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Morororo
MorororoAuthor

Thank you! 😁 I'll try my best to improve!

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