Review Detail of literl010 in Vile Evil Hides Under The Veil

Item: Vile Evil Hides Under The Veil
Rating: 3.8

Review detail

literl010Lv12yrliterl010

Review up to around #30. Grammar and spelling are well above average, the story is a slow burn but is slowly progressing at a steady pace, plenty of character development... However... the biggest issue for me is the exposition dumps, monologuing, and unnatural conversations. For example, early on an entire chapter is dedicated to a exposition dump on beasts, which could have been edited down considerably to something much more concise, or even better, have the information naturally dispersed throughout the story. Characters frequently exposition dump or explain things in excruciating detail, spanning multiple long paragraphs without pause, often repeating the same concept multiple times. This makes many conversations feel more like a lecture than a natural conversation. The author could remedy this by having the other characters in the scene interact more, asking questions, pondering on the information provided, or have the characters physically move in the scene.

Vile Evil Hides Under The Veil

Grayback

Liked by 16 people

Replies5

Rona_Vera_lacLv1Rona_Vera_lac

Don't make me laugh, the story is well written and if you complain because they give us a good description of the world and things that we don't know are wrong, look for another story, this is what is expected when we are presented with the worlds that the authors see. we the readers

8mth

BarnacleboyLv15Barnacleboy

Couldn’t agree more. It’s hard to get into the story when your fanned with info dumps about the world or what would happen in the future

2yr

Rona_Vera_lacLv1Rona_Vera_lac

no me hagan reir , la historia esta bien escrita y si te quejas porque nos den una buena descripción del mundo y cosas que no conocemos estas mal, buscate otra historia, esto es lo que se espera cuando nos presentan los mundos que ven los autores a nosotros los lectores

8mth

literl010Lv1literl010

Exposition dumps and lecturing are not a sign of good writing. If you don't consider this a problem, that's fine, we all have our own tastes, however, one of the most common pieces of advice for new writers is "show, don't tell", and for very good reason. Exposition dumps often lead to the breaking of immersion, pacing issues, boring the reader, and they just feel unnatural and inorganic. This is why they're generally avoided by more experienced writers.

Rona_Vera_lac:Don't make me laugh, the story is well written and if you complain because they give us a good description of the world and things that we don't know are wrong, look for another story, this is what is expected when we are presented with the worlds that the authors see. we the readers

8mth

Darja_RenenLv3Darja_Renen

Hello there! I couldn't help but notice your comment, and I wanted to recommend one of my novels to you. One is about a woman falling in love with her Orc guardian in VR game. The other story is historical romance, following destiny of a ruler fully devoted to his queen. Feel free to give them a read if you're in the mood for something new❤️‍🔥

1mth