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Lord_Hastur
Lord_HasturLv52yr
2022-10-07 14:44

is this a harem ..? .

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Honoured_Writer
Honoured_WriterLv4

Other Reviews
Bierbart
BierbartLv14
Old_Man_and_Pencil
Old_Man_and_PencilLv1

Excuse my new colleague and reader, but I am the type that cannot lie when asked for my opinion, because I believe that the truth can always favor better development and evolution of ourselves. Unfortunately my review will not be too positive about your work compared to what you did about my work, but I hope it serves as advice and we can talk about it in the future if you want. You look to have a great sense of creation and imagination, good enough to make me want to write something together with you. (End of my message to the author) (My review starts here) I disagree with your comparison between our stories, mainly due to the fact that in another of my evaluations about another fanfic using Prototype was the similar issue that I considered decisive in my personal opinion. Another protagonist gaining the powers of the Blackvirus with the help of a type of system in the story and nothing more about the game, I cannot understand this type of combination that has everything to go wrong. How can you use two powers with limitless potential together? You got lost because of it. Your writing is messy and a bit uneven, although that doesn't affect the story much, I didn't like your protagonist as he appears to be empty and just a random guy, at first I was thinking about reading like a parody(similar a One Punch Man) and was considering the system as the true protagonist of the story, it was funny until I realized it was just the author getting lost in his own work and decided to stop reading. As for the world and the powers, I considered it one of the strong points of your work, I believe that you can try to create something original instead of trying to write more fanfics when you feel more confident. I skipped a few chapters to look more, including also due to the powers of the Blacklight virus, and unfortunately my opinion has not changed, on the contrary, in the end you admitted that you lost control of your story and that was the main reason for your decision to finish without a proper ending. At least you admited and gave your readers your reason about taking this sadly decision, even if some hated you, this is brave and better that just disappearing. (End of my review)

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