Review Detail of JustGoDie13 in Mark of the Jackal

Writing this after 5 chapters, the biggest strength so far is the author's thorough and skillful writing. Descriptions are very vivid and pass the test of what I expect from high fantasy. The characters have strong points of view that feel authentic and not like the author is overwriting their own views onto them. My biggest piece of advice to the author is to break up the paragraphs dramatically. I myself had to learn this lesson, so I speak from experience. Many readers are only going to read your story on mobile, so if you open up the app you'll see how large the blocks of text are as presented right now. It's not ruining the story, but I do feel it will stop some people from reading because of what they expect from this site.