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Review Detail of Prince_nonchalant in No More Fantasy

Review detail

Prince_nonchalant
Prince_nonchalantLv31yrPrince_nonchalant

I must commend the author for trying something unique. This will be a honest review from me detailing what I think about the story. Synopsis: Not a bad synopsis. I can't say it will captivate every reader but it sure will catch the attention of those interested in this genre. Princes, technology, magic, it's all an interesting concept. Writing Quality: The grammar isn't unreadable. It's good compared to a lot of books on this website. However, I gave this a 4 because there were quite a few missing punctuation marks, run-on sentences, and incomplete words. At first, I was going to grant you the 5 since you stated that English isn't your first language but that's not the main issue as your grammar surpasses a lot of English speakers. I believe editing is your downfall here because the incomplete words aren't subject to grammar. I'd recommend reviewing your chapters and fixing those incomplete words. Development: The book has decent pacing. You're thrown in without understanding much. But personally, it lacked a little flavor, which is fine because that was only at the starting chapters. I also liked the concept of having 2 MCs. That can be tricky to handle but if done well, you can ace it. 4. Characters: Well, the prince seems the most energetic out of everyone. Great personality for the characters. No complaints there. However, the designs were a bit lacking imo. I usually don't mark for design unless the author decides to do designs. But your designs only included the clothes the characters were wearing and gave no physical reference. Of course, this could just be preference which is why I won't mark very hard for it. 4. World Background: This is what the book lacks most, especially in the first chapter. I was trying so hard to imagine where the character was. You gave context clues that he was running through some sort of forest which is why he fell etc. But it still wasn't enough. There were a few more instances like this. Some done better than others. I gave this a 3 as I believe improvements could be made. Overall: I hope you don't think I marked you too hard. I'm not saying your book is bad by any means. Not even close. I just believe there is room for improvement and that goes for every author inclusive of myself. Correct these minor issues and you'll have a story of gold. Don't give up author. Writing is difficult but persevere. I've been there but not giving up is the key. Good luck!

altalt

No More Fantasy

Retsag

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Retsag
RetsagAuthorRetsag

Thanks for that long and detailed review! I must say that this chapters was this first chapter which I wrote almost 1 year ago now and came back to many times, but always felt that it wasn't good enought. Your critics are very similar to the ones other reviews and some of my friends rencently gave me, but I didn't really have the time to fix them since it was exame season back in france and that I started a big project just after. However I promise to fix chapter 1, after fixing the rest of volume 1, as the other chapters are much wors. Don't worry about being to arsh, after all inovations come from feedback and I already survived 5 months without a single comment so I can manage. Sincerely Retsag99 :]