webnovel
Starling_
Starling_Lv13yr
2021-07-29 02:53

Honest opinion, this story is an open book. The opening chapters don’t seem to flow very well, especially with the dialogues swapping from “ to : every so often. The tenses also become mixed up, and too many characters are show at once, creating confusion. Otherwise, the plot of the novel is being unpacked fast and I like how the author has gone on to address the sci-if genre. It’s good if you ignore the punctuation and style errors.

The game of revenge

Maryam_Zahoor
4.8
100 Chs

Liked by 1 people

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Replies3
Maryam_Zahoor
Maryam_ZahoorAuthor

Thanks Scarlet for sharing your honest opinion so I can make my story better. Can you please suggest how can I modify this problem now? or Which thing irritates you most means at which point you felt there's so many characters?

3yr
Starling_
Starling_Lv1

When I’m on my pc a little later, I’ll comment under the chapters with the strange dialogue tags and tense switches. Otherwise, your Grammar is quite good. Right now, the beginning was just a lot to take in. To make the story flow better, I would suggest spacing them out, and using more conjunctions ( although, which, but ). Hope this helps

Maryam_Zahoor:Thanks Scarlet for sharing your honest opinion so I can make my story better. Can you please suggest how can I modify this problem now? or Which thing irritates you most means at which point you felt there's so many characters?
3yr
1
Maryam_Zahoor
Maryam_ZahoorAuthor

Thanks for suggestions.

3yr
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