The major problem with this is how you have gone about the love life of the mc. If you did it naturally and made them come together organically cool. However, you are talking about it as if they are trophies to pick and choose from (the mc) This is a 30-year-old planning to win a 5-year-olds heart before even meeting her... If they met and got together great but the fact he has to plan about it etc rly turns me off of the story. Another, thing this adds into is just how the mc dialogs with himself way too much to the point I am just skimming through parts to acc get to the point he was talking about. Waffling to much. SO yeah
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LIKEThanks for the review! Sure it may seem that way, but that's because I decided on Serena being the main wife of this fanfic from the stsrt, instead of him being indecisive. What's wrong with having mc plan it out? Did you forget how easily Setena fell in love with Ash? All mc is trying to do is prevent them from meeting together. Ash saved Serena from a potential poliwag attack, helped her knee injury and carried her back. Ash won't be doing that here. As for MC monologing a lot, yeah that's the style of this fanfic. I'm making it first person, and I have comedy tag on it soooo Idk lol.
I don't know what you think is morally right or not but that's child grooming, and if you don't see anything wrong with that then you seriously need help by having a conversation with a therapist.
Aht:Thanks for the review! Sure it may seem that way, but that's because I decided on Serena being the main wife of this fanfic from the stsrt, instead of him being indecisive. What's wrong with having mc plan it out? Did you forget how easily Setena fell in love with Ash? All mc is trying to do is prevent them from meeting together. Ash saved Serena from a potential poliwag attack, helped her knee injury and carried her back. Ash won't be doing that here. As for MC monologing a lot, yeah that's the style of this fanfic. I'm making it first person, and I have comedy tag on it soooo Idk lol.
nah bro thinks child grooming is good but im still gonna read it lol
Aht:Thanks for the review! Sure it may seem that way, but that's because I decided on Serena being the main wife of this fanfic from the stsrt, instead of him being indecisive. What's wrong with having mc plan it out? Did you forget how easily Setena fell in love with Ash? All mc is trying to do is prevent them from meeting together. Ash saved Serena from a potential poliwag attack, helped her knee injury and carried her back. Ash won't be doing that here. As for MC monologing a lot, yeah that's the style of this fanfic. I'm making it first person, and I have comedy tag on it soooo Idk lol.
My brother in Christ this is a full grown man trying to get a child to fall for him
Aht:Thanks for the review! Sure it may seem that way, but that's because I decided on Serena being the main wife of this fanfic from the stsrt, instead of him being indecisive. What's wrong with having mc plan it out? Did you forget how easily Setena fell in love with Ash? All mc is trying to do is prevent them from meeting together. Ash saved Serena from a potential poliwag attack, helped her knee injury and carried her back. Ash won't be doing that here. As for MC monologing a lot, yeah that's the style of this fanfic. I'm making it first person, and I have comedy tag on it soooo Idk lol.
this is Fiction so the age range and morals can be flexible, except old looking gals and obviously toddlers like what the heck. i kinda get your point though since the incident with ash and her will only happen at a young age and by the time she grows up you wont have that chance
Aht:Thanks for the review! Sure it may seem that way, but that's because I decided on Serena being the main wife of this fanfic from the stsrt, instead of him being indecisive. What's wrong with having mc plan it out? Did you forget how easily Setena fell in love with Ash? All mc is trying to do is prevent them from meeting together. Ash saved Serena from a potential poliwag attack, helped her knee injury and carried her back. Ash won't be doing that here. As for MC monologing a lot, yeah that's the style of this fanfic. I'm making it first person, and I have comedy tag on it soooo Idk lol.
in fiction things can be flexible cause of circumstance and common sense, thats why people really shouldnt use what they believe is right and normal when reading fiction, take pokemon for example- it was said that pokemon human marriages used to be quite common, there are even more abnormals things than that in our view in pokemon but are just the usual there. i used to be just like you back then, thinking with our worlds common sense and morals until i read that novel and got roasted, the novels mc is just 7 years old yet he is in a loving and sexual relationship with a lady whose over 100 years old, the mc is human so he looked the part while the lady was elven in that novel so she also looked and acted more like a child, when i got triggered at the time some guy explained to me how to the elves of that place a hundred years old is like a 10 year old, and due to the environment and way of life in that world, early marriages had to be a norm unless they wanted to have their race extinct, of course i argued with him and in the end multiple roasts later i finally relented and stopped thinking so stifly, i thought since sibling relationships used to be widely practiced in medievel times with the nobles and are still around in alabama, then early marriages arent all that different especially when you add up the foreign factors such as magic, touki, chakra, nen, aliens, sci-fi, espers, wars, and etc you get the gist. sorry for the long read i just felt like telling you a warning and about my thoughts
AzureFluteFan2:My brother in Christ this is a full grown man trying to get a child to fall for himimage
That doesn’t change the fact that, what was once a full grown adult, is preemptively trying to get a human child to fall for him. It’s creepy af. As for the Elf thing, nah they’re just trying to justify that. Even 40 year old elves in most fictional stories still act like adults. Even with their long life spans, 100 years old is plenty of time to mature. If they still act like a child at that age, at that point it’s just a personality quirk. Besides, this isn’t in the Middle Ages. This takes place in an advanced civilization in which technology and medicine is very advanced. That book in Sinnoh says they USED to get married. Emphasis on the past tense word in there. Just because a bunch of people say it, doesn’t mean it’s right. Don’t forget this place is filled to the brim with degenerates that would love nothing more than to look for their next favorite harem book where the females are all 2D cardboard cutouts with tig ol’ bitties and hourglass figures that fall for the MC he second they see them. Their opinions hardly matter.
Ireallylikereading:in fiction things can be flexible cause of circumstance and common sense, thats why people really shouldnt use what they believe is right and normal when reading fiction, take pokemon for example- it was said that pokemon human marriages used to be quite common, there are even more abnormals things than that in our view in pokemon but are just the usual there. i used to be just like you back then, thinking with our worlds common sense and morals until i read that novel and got roasted, the novels mc is just 7 years old yet he is in a loving and sexual relationship with a lady whose over 100 years old, the mc is human so he looked the part while the lady was elven in that novel so she also looked and acted more like a child, when i got triggered at the time some guy explained to me how to the elves of that place a hundred years old is like a 10 year old, and due to the environment and way of life in that world, early marriages had to be a norm unless they wanted to have their race extinct, of course i argued with him and in the end multiple roasts later i finally relented and stopped thinking so stifly, i thought since sibling relationships used to be widely practiced in medievel times with the nobles and are still around in alabama, then early marriages arent all that different especially when you add up the foreign factors such as magic, touki, chakra, nen, aliens, sci-fi, espers, wars, and etc you get the gist. sorry for the long read i just felt like telling you a warning and about my thoughts