Aeternabilis

Great story so far and I hope you don’t paln on dropping or anything. Something I would suggest is to move the story along a little faster. It doesn’t matter much that you go into detail as it paints the picture. However, it has been how many chapters now? And it feels as if it hasn’t moved on from the 3rd chapter. Like legit think of the progression so far and not a lot has happened it feels like I’m reading the 2nd chapter of the story

Is it just me who didn’t like his “confidence” I get it as a mission to get the girl as likes one off or if he was angry. But I much preferred his personality before where he was chill af Loving this story so far and just hope he doesn’t start fighting with other teams all the time constantly shouting that he his the best. Let actions prove it and others preach about it. Already a beast and he knows it. Doesn’t need to show it off

Yeah I get making it a skit but you have to do it for something that makes sense and out of the mc’s control. Potions is all about memorization and intellect something that the mc excels at. Even touted early to have a near edict memory.. If you wanted something more skit like it would be something like magical animals don’t like him (except ravens ofc) this could then lead to the mc playing on it and speaking about how ravens are the only good animals etc

Why hasn’t she taken the god cards?

I like the story but it seems it all comes a bit too easy for them. Therese no real challenge at all… For example, with a near all knowing mirror it would surely know that it’s not the queen that it’s speaking with. Is it not meant to be tied/have a connection with her? If not would the witches of the coven not just do the same thing that the mc did? They have been made out to be way more powerful so you can’t say they don’t have the power to do it.. Over all has been a great story so far. Refreshing to see something so different! Just wish there was a bit more of a challenge

This is disgusting to read, why so many words in bold… totally unnecessary and just makes it jarring af

Yeah the wide wing playmaker is def some bs hahaha doesn’t make sense either as the opposition coach would be able to easily block him outta the game

Always fun when the author kills there story 😂

I don’t like knocking someone’s work they put into the story but for my this was an absolute waste of time and I don’t recommend it personaly. I thought the premise was a good idea that would lead to an interesting plot and interactions with the characters of hazbin and a much more cool Adam. However… all this story essentially is. Is Adam killing everyone in hazbin, no questions asked just goes on a rampage and kills everyone. What is the point? It isn’t a story just a murderous rampage. Yeah this is not for me, I like reading for a story not for this. Gl to the author but not for me ✌️

Doesn’t bode well for the story at all if even the title is wrong… it’s the easiest thing to get right haha