You involuntarily helped me to find out what my story was missing - A good pacing. Please don't drop this, I have finally found an entertaining story and at the same time can learn from it.

Cynthia should be the second wife‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

Shameless 5* Author review. Most is explained in synopsis! I welcome criticism for this being my second fanfic! 2nd waifu poll will start at a later time.

The major problem with this is how you have gone about the love life of the mc. If you did it naturally and made them come together organically cool. However, you are talking about it as if they are trophies to pick and choose from (the mc) This is a 30-year-old planning to win a 5-year-olds heart before even meeting her... If they met and got together great but the fact he has to plan about it etc rly turns me off of the story. Another, thing this adds into is just how the mc dialogs with himself way too much to the point I am just skimming through parts to acc get to the point he was talking about. Waffling to much. SO yeah

Reveal spoiler

I want to like it but I just can't. The story is incredible inconsistent. First we waste 7-10 chapters to introduce some character that we will not see until the MC goes to a new region but then use only 4 to explore the summer camp and 1 to time skip the MC 5 10 years stay in Alola. Brilliant. Then the worth of reincarnation points is completely pointless. The whole point of this fic is that the MC died, decided to not use his reincarnation point and used them anyway. The thing is that having a perfectly fit body that doesn't get ill is like 10 points (out of 650 that he had) but he uses 500 to get an alolan vulpix. A vulpix that later everyone decides to get. With that many point he should have gotten a legendary minimun. Not like it would have mattered. Finally, the world. It's bs and a power trip for the author. The MC is very clearly a SI (if anything because sometime the author forgets about it and talks about himself doing things in place of the MC). Everyone gets a shiny as a starter. Also the first time that he goes to capture pokemon they capture another 2. Of course every single pokemon with two 31ivs or more. Like any fantasy fulfilling protagonist every legendary loves him and gives him things. The second pokemon that he gets is already one. The worst thing is how we skip pretty darn important things. We never saw his starter evolve, and he doesn't even use it. Preffering to use newly capture pokemons. Probably because this isn't the type of fic where the MC slowly and carefully construct his team, but a catch 'em all like with Ash. Before the first gym the MC already has his team full.

Why do people like to invent their own facts/definitions? 2 wives is still a harem. Definitions: Harem: the women occupying a harem; the wives (or concubines) of a polygamous man. Polygamous: practicing, relating to or involving polygamy. Polygamy: The practice of marrying multiple spouses. Multiple: Consisting of, including, or involving more than one.

🍷 Reading Diary 🍷 Chapters 1-25 | First Impressions. BORING! Too much unnecessary info dumping. Literally had 3 to 5 of ONLY introducing characters that could be introduced in a single chapter later on. That's pretty bad writing, IMO. Nevertheless, at least with all this info dumping at he start of the novel, we get to know a lot about what the future holds for us. Is it going to focus on the anime? Manga? The games? A mix of the three? What about the regions? The limitations Pokemon have in battle (PP, Max. amount of moves, EV, IV, etc)? And the usual questions we have when reading a pokemon fic. The writing is... well, decent? It has many simple mistakes, like: o e (meant to be "one"), mixing up the name of characters, and some other typos. Nothing that makes the novel unreadable, but the mistakes are there. The MC is a mystery to me. Didn't like how he talks like a middle-aged person and no one talks about it, even though he's only 4 years old. However, I like his personality, so it's a 50/50 for me. The plot is still uncertain. He has no end goal, really. At least for now. His first battle shouldn't have happened the way it did, imo. You'll understand once you get there. The way he reincarnated is full of inconsistencies and question marks. Didn't really like it. In his previous life, he accumulated 600 and something Good Karma. The limit is 1000. Because MC didn't want to reincarnate with an OP power/golden finger, God decided to give him a pokemon egg worth 500 Karma points. At this point I'm like "Holy sh#t, that's almost all the good karma he gathered in his WHOLE LIFE, It's definitely a good Pokemon" Well, turns out he traded 80% of his karma to win a shiny ****** (No spoilers here, boya). I was disappointed. He also spent a good 100 points to have a good background, so he doesn't suffer on his childhood. Well, that didn't really work out since his real family died in a "mysterious way" and he's actually adopted. We all know this will lead to trouble later on in his life. Dialogue between characters seems fine. It feels human. It works. There's also a timeskip literally right after chapter 25. A ten-year timeskip, to he exact. He's 15, and that's when his journey actually starts. Right now I give the story a good 3.5/5, maybe a 3/5 if I'm harsh. Just skim through the info dump and have fun. I'll update my thoughts on this after finishing chapter 50. 🍷 Reading Diary 🍷

keep it up love the story [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]