CloggedMeridianLv123yr

2021-10-16 00:08

Hi i wanna give my review on this story and I'll be doing that by comparing it with it's original counterpart, and his most recent dropped story celestial god, I am not sending the author hate it's just something that has been on my mind and if it can help him that's awesome. I'll begin by saying that the original could have done just fine had he planned accordingly to the changes he made to cannon, he said that he didn't know what to do because Mason was too powerful, well no, that's a lie just by being in Marvel i can say he wasn't that powerful and i could see a path ahead, he could have done some editing in the previous chapters and using the king's organization he could have gone for the kingdom building route by using Dorea and Helena. That's my main criticism about your writing style, in my opinion when writing a story you should plan in a methodical way and spend enough time reviewing that plan, that is not to say your writing has to be done in a robotic and mothodical way. to make things short, your writing style is amazing, the way you plan things is to write things as they come, at least that's what I got from the author's notes that you always do.(hope that makes sense dm me if you want a explanation, wold be a honor to talk to you) Now let's talk about the rewrite and why I'm getting disappointed with it, just like the original he gets power ups from marvel and completely forgets about it for most of the story, until the war that he insists in participating in it happens, now i don't hate the war, the author could just have gone another way with it, in my opinion the whole following Steve and Bucky trope is killing the story, if you don't wanna change cannon don't participate in a important war with one of the most important cast of Cannon characters in it, in my opinion you should have followed with the Logan and Viktor route, and that's not even saying that he low key hates England/Brittain because of his last life, why would he fight for something that would be won without any of his input and siding with a country he doesn't like, now there's also the fact that for plot conveniences you decide to nerf his intelligence, one time was a good learning experience for Mason but them he decides to go on and do it again knowing it's a trap, and it's not like he doesn't have the resources to plan beforehand, just a quick list of what he can do practically alone and he's done behind the scenes: time manipulation, enough magic power to create a personal dimension, has most of deaths artifacts, rune master, alchemist and so on and you're saying that he can't make a plan for an anbush, we know that he is a resourceful guy who has all the time and a lot of money to plan contingency plans all he wants. Now the last thing I wanna talk about is for the author to not have any fear in changing cannon, that's what fanfics are all about, in my eyes this fanfic was a masterpiece before the latest arc and he didn't even change cannon at the time and that was all that had to happen for it to be perfect in my eyes, i just wanted the author to have more confidence in his writing skills and imagination, i don't want this novel to fail because of the same reason as celestial god, where you apparently had ambitious plans but didn't plan enough, in the case of the rewrite, i can only see it being successful If he make changes to cannon according to the changes you made and that can be done, you just have to plan it. That's it, really hope that helped, will do a better review when you finish the story, i don't even know if you're going to read all this, thank you for your attention and the good times this novel has given me, have a little more confidence and you will be fine.

Mason Aves: The Wizard(Kinda Complete.. again)

HelloDarkness07

4.5

128 Chs